So, this time last week my life was normal. Last Saturday I found out my mum was in hospital after feeling unwell. Sunday we discovered she has terminal cancer and has less than 6 months to live.
I just still feel in shock, I forget about her illness for a moment and then the pain when I remember is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life without her. I keep looking at her and just feel in disbelief that is happening and that she she will be gone and I just feel like my heart can’t cope.
How am I supposed to live without her?.
Welcome to the Community. I apologise for the delay in responding. I am sorry to hear about your mum. I would take each day as it comes and spend as much time with your mum as you can given the heart-breaking news you have been told.
You do learn to cope and accept that a loved one is not coming back, and you do this by taking one day at a time and being gentle with yourself. Grief is a journey to be taken at your own pace. Sue Ryder has a Grief Guide that has helpful tools and information to help with understanding bereavement and grief. When you are ready and feel up to it, take a look, this may be of help to you.
You can connect with members here and you can reach out any time, we are all here for you and to support you. You are not alone.
I am glad I found this forum for support and advice.
I am trying to take it one day at a time and just enjoy time with my mum whilst I can. It has been a shock, but feel that it’s a journey which I know will be full of highs and lows.
Thanks so much.
You are very welcome @Evenstar81. You are an amazing daughter, and your mum will see this and know this.
We are here for you any time. Please look after yourself. Take care.
@Evenstar81 I gotta say reading your post made me burst into tears. Just because I was where you currently are February 2020. I know what your going through, I remember it well. I’m so glad you’ve reached out so early. I hope it helps you. And know there’s always someone to speak to if and when needed. In the mean time go and be with your mum. Take care.
Awww Im sorry, but thanks for responding. I felt I needed to reach out, I feel lucky having got to my age having never lost anyone so close to me. So this really has knocked me sideways. It has been a week since we found out and I feel I’ve digested it more. But planning days out and helping my mum get organised has helped xx
Your welcome. U did the right thing to reach out I only wish I had. But me being me, just keeping it all to myself and pushing on (got that from my mum) it hasn’t helped at all, in fact everyday gets harder now.
She was diagnosed terminal Feb 2020, we was told 15 months with chemotherapy, unfortunately she didn’t take well to chemotherapy so it was stopped, we then worried how long do we have if we don’t have chemo, but docs said there’s a new type of chemo out (tablet form) so we tried this and it was better. Anyway there’s alot to my story…in the end we got 27 month (2yrs 3months) she did amazing and is the strongest person i no/knew…we lost her in May this year. I did things for her I never thought I would do, like clean her after she passed, dressed her at the funeral directors. I just wanted to do everything for her in life and after. I miss her like crazy…I just want to hear her voice and hold her hand…
Anyway, I’m sorry…if I had done this before she passed I wish I would of had someone to say take videos of her…get her voice on them…I have some pictures but I wish I had videos…I’m sorry if Ive upset u…
I’m here if u need a chat. X
Hello my friend. I am in the exact situation. Mom had a cough went into hospital 4 weeks ago. Got diagnosed stage 4 lung cancer no treatment offered due to its advanced stages. Same as your mom 6 months to live. Last month we were going for walks in the park together. She has gone downhill fast. I am an only child dad died 6 years ago suddenly so this is pure hopelessness. She is scared to go to sleep in case she don’t wake up a d I’m scared to sleep in case I find her dead. Which I obviously will one day soon. Its just brutal and I feel for you my friend.
Brutal is the right word to use - life is this and so is death and I just want to wish you all the strength you can possibly muster in this awful time! Be with her, talk to her and remember this is a very special time for you and her. I really wish you the best for the forthcoming months.
I lost my mother eight months ago and it isn’t at all easy.
Much love Sandra