Losing my mum

So 6weeks ago my mum ended up with sepsis due to a urine infection and was hospitalised. Little did we know she actually had stage 4 trans cell carcinoma of her bladder that had spread. 6 weeks later im on here trying to find a way to cope with this burning pain inside my chest I can not escape. she is now end of life in a hospice. We are sadly just waiting for the inevitable. She is getting sicker and sicker by the day to the point we no longer recognise her and she can no longer stay awake for long. I am already grieving her before she’s even gone. How do I cope when she’s gone? I can barely cope now.


Hello Lostinlife,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and how you are feeling, this is truly awful for you. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

Another place to get support is Marie Curie, they offer information and support for people with a terminal illness and their families which you might find helpful. They can be contacted on 0800 090 2309 or via their website https://www.mariecurie.org.uk


I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


So sorry to hear this, its good that you have began to grieve before she is gone as this will help you on to continue the process, I am so sorry to hear that she appears to be suffering by it being dragged out, i will pray for her tonight in that i hope she soon finds peace and can rest out of any more pain or suffering… It is always hard to watch a loved one suffer, but keep coming here and posting whatever is on your mind even if you just waffle on about things that made you and your mum smile, we are all here to support each other, i am finding it a comfort knowing that i can come here and get support with what i am going through.

I pray that your mum is soon out of pain and suffering and that you find your own peace and manage to cope with your grief. Make sure you don’t take on anyone elses grief only your own. because too much on your shoulders can be a bigger pain than you need when you are grieving a big loss like your mum.

Hi lostinlife Im so sorry you are feeling so much pain .I wish Id found this site before I lost my mom to her cancer. My mom passed away at home on the 10th november. It was very hard to sit by her bedside right up to the end but I would not change that for the world. I would do anythink for one more day I miss her so much. Im finding it harder that she is not with me stay strong and know we are all her for you xx

She passed away on the 23rd of October, I feel like my grieving process has had to pause completely because of all the things you have to do after death, there is no time allowed for you to feel, so many legalities and things to deal with after someone dies. It still doesn’t feel real. I feel like im so wrong for not crying all day everyday. I feel like iv had to detach my feelings so I can actually cope