Mum recently passed away,i cared for mum whilst also working I now look back and wonder how I did it,but we do we cope somehow, I am lucky my dad whos in his late 80s is still with us,so now I’m caring for him.i feel like I’m lost without her,she was my rock my everything, we always discussed how I would cope without her and the simple matter is I m not I put on the brave face for the world to see,but inside I’m like how am I going to do this without her,so many internal struggles going on in my head,I’ve already been off work 3 weeks 2 of which on sick leave I’ve got the worry of will I lose my job if I take more time off,I’m worrying about dad and I seem to come last,and I feel like I’m falling apart.
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Hello @Amanda55, thank you for starting this thread. I am so sorry for the loss of your mum. It sounds like your loss is still very recent and raw, and how you are feeling is totally understandable. Many of our members have lost a parent, and have been a carer to them as you were, and will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources with you that may help you right now.
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Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief: https://griefguide.sueryder.org/
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Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS: https://sueryder.grief.coach/
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat: https://www.sueryder.org/online-bereavement-counselling
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through - https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it. Take good care, you are not alone.
Seaneen
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My own mother died six months ago and I also felt I was falling apart seeing her in the hospital before she died. It’s so bad, isn’t it? Our mothers, in a way you just do not want to see them and I really feel your pain and it just makes me feel so sad for you and of course, for me too!
The work thing is such a conundrum. I would strongly advise you NOT to work until you feel better or at least, enough to put a brave enough face to do so. You must put yourself first and not work and take as much time off as you can afford to. Get another sick note, do whatever to allow yourself to heal a bit because what you have gone through is one of the hardest, if not the hardest thing you have to face.
I really wish you well x
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I feel your pain, my mum was my world, my best friend, all rolled into one