I’m an only child, my relationship with my mother was always strained and rarely a happy one from my teenage years onwards, my father died eight years ago at the same time my mum was diagnosed with dementia, she became abusive and difficult much as she had been throughout periods of my childhood but I tried to get the best care I could for her. She had lived in a care home for some time before she died last week having not known me for several years and stopped communicating all together and been bed bound for two years, I truly thought I had mourned her but her passing has floored me. I’m struggling with my emotions, easily stressed to tears, finding it difficult thinking of myself as an orphan and utterly confused as to why it has hit me so hard, her passing was really a kindness due to advanced state of dementia, I read about grief but am struggling to understand where mines coming from
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and dad. Grief is often complicated, and more so when our relationship with the person hasn’t always been easy. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care, Rhi
Just rad your post. She was your mum at the end of the day and it doesn’t matter how difficult she may have been in the past or what your relationship was like over the years she was your mum. Although you knew her passing was a blessing ad a kindness it is still tough to comprehend when it actually happens. You are only human and have feelings. You have done the right thing in reaching out and this site is amazing for giving support . We are all struggling with grief and trying to get our heads around what has happened to us individually. There are no right or wrong answers. Posta s often as you want and rant chat or ask questions. This is a non judgemental site where everyone is welcome and hopefully you will make friends on here as I have done
Thinking of you