Losing my mum

I lost my mum nearly two years ago and the pain hasn’t even gone away alittle! People keep telling me it will get easier and I will learn to live without her! But everyday is a struggle. I think talking helps and living out any dreams that they had! Everyday I want to end my life to be with my mum as she was my reason for everything! I’m so lost without her and nothing will ever replace the love she filled in my heart!


Hi @Jessicalouise11,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are really struggling without her.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts during their grief journey. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:


There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You may also find this article on our website helpful: Losing a parent - coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder

You deserve care and support so please, Jessica, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,


Hi JessicaLouise11,

I’m sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad fairly recently, four and a half months ago and I haven’t found the pain any less with the passing of time. People and society seem to think that I should be back to ‘normal’ by now but nothing feels normal and the pain and longing for my dad is excruciating.

My dad was my person and we were so close. I saw him everyday and the void left behind has impacted every part of my life. I miss him terribly and feel completely lost without him. I always knew that losing my dad would be the thing that I wouldn’t recover from and I’m not sure I ever will.

Life is vastly different now and like yourself everyday feels like a struggle. I don’t think time will make things easier, from speaking with other people who have close bonds with their parents I am told that you just learn to live alongside the grief. This feels daunting as it’s difficult to imagine a meaningful future whilst feeling this way.

I am sure that our parents want us to carry on with life even though things are difficult and changed. There are lots of people on this site who understand how difficult grief is to navigate.


Thank you for your reply. I am sorry for you loss! Life doesn’t prepare us for these losses in our lives.
My mum passed away suddenly and we didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye! I blame covid but I don’t know!
I want to carry out some charity work to raise money for her cause of death and I would love to follow her dreams of what she didn’t have time to do!
They will forever be with us. No matter what! Always here of you need a chat!! I feel your pain too well and it’s the most heart wrenching pain ever xx

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Can fully understand and relate it is rubbish . My dad passed 9 weeks ago on Wednesday. Cant believe . Its like times moved on but half of me is still in January when he was still here. Hes in my head and heart always.

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Thank you.

I’m sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye to your mum. We knew what the outcome would be with my dad but we had no idea that we would lose him so quickly. It’s utterly devestating, he crosses my mind every moment of the day. I don’t even know how I am managing to get up and to face each day, it hurts so much.

Charity work in honour of your mum is a lovely idea. I like to think that everytime I do something that dad is with me. I used to love to travel and dad would be the person I would share all my thoughts with. This has all lost its appeal now but I am hoping in time that when I do travel somewhere new it will be like I’m taking him with me.

I hope you are having a peaceful day.