I lost my mum exactly one week ago. I feel like I’m just floating. I go into autopilot mode when dealing with the coroner, funeral arrangements but then I revert back to the state of confusion and sadness when I get home. I can’t believe she’s really gone. I feel completely alone, even though I have my family around me.
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Hello Ang2 - I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Unfortunately I lost mines too, so I understand how your feeling . Sending you a virtual hug to give you strength in the coming weeks . Please remember to look after yourself and although it’s important to have some alone time , allow your family to grieve with you .
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Thank you @Loubylou1 for responding. Im sorry for your loss too. Big hug to you and my deepest condolences to you & your family.
I’m just beginning to realise that grieving is a very personal, lonely journey. I have so many questions but I know I will never get the answers.
I understand the process of life and death but my heart & emotions can’t catch up with my head. I’m in such a state of confusion and mixed emotions, I feel like I’m losing my mind.
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Your not losing your mind Ang2 , but it feels like that at times . I lost my mum during the first lockdown and from only having a handful of people at her funeral to not being able to even hug family , I felt I was losing my mind also .
I was wondering if your mum’s funeral is still to happen . I know I felt slightly more settled when that had happened .
I sometimes read some versus online and found a woman who writes poems that just seemed to resonate with me - her poems were comforting . Don’t get me wrong I’m by no means saying you will be comfortable anytime soon but it may help. Unfortunately this journey in grief has to be taken some time alone until you find peace in your own way . I hope you find peace soon Ange2.
Hi @Loubylou1 We haven’t been able to make the funeral arrangements as the coroner only released her on Thursday and we are currently waiting for an appointment at the registry office to register her death. I do feel like part of me feeling so unsettled is because there’s so much to do still. I don’t feel like I grieve properly as I have to switch back to the ‘ok, I’ve got to get myself together to deal with the funeral arrangements’ mode. I feel completely exhausted. I’m also fed up with people telling me the usual cliché things …I think I’m almost starting to feel angry …I don’t know…just too many mixed emotions right now.
How did you navigate through your grieving journey so far? Does it get ‘easier’ as everyone seems to tell me?
Hi Ang2 , arranging the funeral brings out a whole host of emotions . It’s like the final thing you can do and you don’t want to say goodbye but you know you have to . Take this time to look at things you know your mum liked , a poem or a wee song and include these things if you can . I hope your getting some help arranging things ? Whether it be expected or sudden that huge wave of emotions completely engulfs you . My mum was an old lady who unfortunately had dementia but regardless she was my mum and I would have kept her forever , though maybe I was being selfish . I was very angry at first as I had been in hospital for 2 weeks and had only just got home and she died so sometimes I wonder if she was so sad thinking I had left her and it made her ill ( I had looked after her mostly on my own ) . It’s okay to be angry - it’s not fair what’s happened , but that emotion will fade and other emotions will take over until you reach a kind of acceptance. There is no timeframe for grief , just take baby steps until you feel a bit stronger and see how it goes . It is good to talk and I would say family will help , but I know there’s support from lots of organisations - sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger . It’s 3 years since my mum but somehow that wave found me again this weekend and left me a bit down but I have picked myself up and believe it or not talking to you has helped as I realise how far I’ve come - I was very like you for quite a while but I did move forward and I allow my sad days but I do have more good days now - you will too .
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I am really sorry for your loss, keep safe my dearest. It’s too early to say stay strong.But stay strong
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@Loubylou1 we finalised the funeral arrangements yesterday morning. It feels unreal.
My dad, who was also admitted to the same hospital as my mum, was moved to a nursing home yesterday. The doctors stated on the paperwork that my dad has around 6 weeks left.
How can I bury one parent after another? This is all too much.