Losing my mum

I lost my my in May she wasnt buried til end June. I didn’t cry I was numb for weeks and have now only started grieving and I too am so so angry…
I can’t visit the cemetery since o went once I felt it was so traumatic I couldn’t do it again yet… I feel bad for not visiting , I’ve bought a plant to bury there but just can’t get there …
Mum had dementia was in a home for 5 years she’s 89 but it still hurts as she was my mum, my best friend and I miss her so much…
She went into the home and they hadn’t given her any water she was sent into hospital as her kidneys were bone dry!!! We visited everyday my huge family and we helped her eat and drink had no idea this was going on . 3 weeks she was there not being able to speak or move the. We were told she was going to die we had to watch and wait for another 2 weeks…

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum aged 90 in May this year. Has been the hardest thing in my life, ever. I still cry at times, but it’s not every day. I’m trying to keep busy. Why do you think you feel you can’t visit the cemetery? I find the cemetery very peaceful when I visit mum. Have you tried writing in a diary, as if you are writing a letter to her? If you try really hard, you could perhaps visit the cemetery on a sunny day, and take your diary with you and read out loud to your mum. Although her physical body is there, her spirit will still be around you, so it’s not as if you have to visit the cemetery if you feel you can’t. But if you persevere, and go a little and often, it may really help you. Worth a try. I like to go to the cemetery every other day. I sit by her grave, make sure she has nice flowers and talk to her. I find it comforting. We all grieve differently. xxx

1 Like

So sorry for your lose. I cared for my 95 year old aunt,who had dementia, for eight years and we lived together for 26 years. I lost my mother a long time ago and my distant father twelve years ago.
I had a similar experience with a care home my aunt was paying £1450.00 a week for.
Yes it was increasingly difficult for her to eat and drink but I feel she would stiil be alive if still at home. I could not manage anymore though and the guilt is always with me. My life is empty now. I have no husband or children. A few well meaning people have been kind but I am alone with my grieve the majority of the time. It is a lonely life. I sometimes I wish I had gone with her. I have to carry on though. I send my live, thoughts and prayers to you and all who are grieving.
No easy answers. One day at a time.