I lost my mum 2 and a half years ago even though it still feels like no time has passed between then and now… I don’t know if I have let myself grief properly/enough (not that there is any correct way to do it). I noticed the last few weeks I had completely put everything regarding my mum and her death to the back of my mind to the point I’ve been living my days in auto pilot without even noticing she’s gone but then tonight I read a poem and it made me spiral back into it all again, floods of tears, reading old text messages and looking at old pictures and those feelings all came back again as if I was re-living her death over again.
What I’m trying to understand is that is it normal that I can go my day to day life normally as if nothing ever happened to her? I can’t really explain what I mean but it’s like i feel guilty sometimes for being okay and then I sit and think well am I really okay? Or am I just surviving? I’m not quite sure. She was my best friend in the whole entire world and I miss her more than anything.
Sorry for the long post
Hello @Lc1971. I am sorry for your loss and the emotions that you feel. I am only 4 weeks on from unexpectedly losing my lovely mum, so I can not advise on the ups and downs longer term.
I do think though from the many many posts that I’ve read, there is no right or wrong in grieving, it is very individual and however you feel is your personal experience with grief.
In this short time, I have learned that part of grief, is the burden of feeling guilt - for just about every reason possible (different for us all).
My hope is that I learn to accept my sadness as a part of me that I will live with - but that I am able to manage.
We are all going through this and genuinely understand how each other feels. I just wanted to send you my thoughts and let you know that we are all here to support each other when needed. X
Hi @Lc1971 I would say this is entirely ‘normal’ in the grief process. It’s human nature to allow yourself to become distracted by the everyday detail of living. Then the tiny triggers come and if you choose, they take you back through the agonies of the raw loss. Hopefully though, you can counterbalance the difficult memories with remembering happier times too. Grief seems to come and go in phases, some harder than others. Best wishes xx