Losing my mum

Hi I’m new on here,
I’m really struggling with losing my mum my best friend in October 22. I’m finding myself stuck in that last week. Flashbacks and reminders are slowly killing me. I’m bursting into tears everyday while the kids are at school . I feel so angry still that she was taken away from me.

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Hello @Amilou85,

Thank you for reaching out. I really hope you find the community to be a support, but I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum that brings you here. You are not alone.

I’m just wondered if you’ve ever considered bereavement counselling to talk through how you are feeling? We offer free sessions at Sue Ryder. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. You might also want to look at our Grief Guide, which provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to share those links with you and let you know that you have been heard.

Take care,

Hi @Amilou85 I’m sorry you had to lose your mum, I know how you feel as I lost mine in Sept 23 and also feel so angry she was taken away from me. My mum was still ‘young’, as she died when I was only 32, I truly feel it shouldn’t have been her time and we should’ve had longer together. She wanted to live so badly and stay with me, and now I have so much of my life potentially to live without her, and so many experiences that she’ll miss, it breaks my heart. You must feel the same. Anger and bitterness is a normal feeling for grief I’ve found. I don’t think we can help feeling that way. We can only take things one step at a time. It’s hard with flashbacks, I get them too, as her passing and time in hospital was very traumatic. But I do also try to think of the good times, the fun times, I look at pictures and videos and I talk to her to feel closer to her. You could try that if you don’t already? I think no matter when they would have passed, it would always be hard, no matter when or the circumstances. Also, know that you’re not alone in your grief. Many of us understand x

Hi I’m sorry to hear of your loss. Give yourself time. All you are feeling is ok. I am in a similar position. Mum passed on the 29th December. I have been able to work from home a few days a week. My children are grown up. When my partner leaves for work I find myself bursting into tears. I feel angry too that we did not have more time. You have to allow yourself to feel. We try to be strong for others whilst we are breaking inside. Crying is good. You are human and cared so much. Do not be too hard on yourself. You have had a great loss and your life will change as a result. You are trying to process the loss and what life will be like going forward. Sending hugs x

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Hi Amilou, I was just replying to another lady, who lost her sister like me but I also lost my mum in August last year, so I gues we are on about the same time length of the grief process. Its six months for me and I can tell you my grief is still very bad , it changes a bit but still the same. Absolute shock for the first few months and then now, really physically missing her.So at least you know what you are experiencing , is all normal. Thank goodness you sound a lovely daughter who cares, not everyone has that luxury. Tolove is to then grieve. As I said to the other lady, your mum would not want you to be so sad that its affecting your day to day. That timme when your kids are at school is your time to let it all out. I can really understand your flashbacks as I am also getting them, I manage to quickly push them away but am considering getting some help. I do take a very low dose depression tablet and I really think I would be alot worse without it. How lovely that you are a mum yourself. i expect you are carrying on your own mums lovely ways. I do not have kids and I wish now I did to focus on. I think your behaviour, though exhausting for you, is what you need to do. It does take forever to get over grief but it will become a part of you eventually, that you can accept and carry on living your life, which is quite right because you are still here. Best Wishes.

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Thanku for all ur replies, I don’t feel as alone. I also lost my brother 3 months before my mum. I was adopted so we didn’t grow up together but when we did meet it was like we had always known each other. I know mum would want me to live my life to the full, it’s just so bloody hard

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It is hard, but we will do it. Do it for your sister and brother.