I lost my mum suddenly and unexpectedly 3 months ago she had a major brain aneurysm. She was 65 I can’t accept it and I’m so stressed her husband has already moved on just after 2 months me and my sisters feel so hurt that he can move on so quickly they had been together 25 years.
My sisters are worried about me saying I’m going to make myself ill with stressing. I do have a heart condition which I’m waiting for the process to go on the waiting list for surgery.
My mum had heart problems we were so alike it was unreal so feel like I’ve lost the one person that understood me.
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Hello @Louise42,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
@Louise42 I am so very sorry, that is painful to not only lose your mum so suddenly but also have that feeling that her partner is moving on after 2 months. Do you mean he is moving on as in, with his life, or a new partner? Either are distressing and it sounds like he is quite selfish to not see how this is hurting you all.
I do hope yo can focus on you, take care of yourself, and that you get seen soon and have the support of your family around you.
He has a new lady friend and already taking her to my mums house etc
Just find it so hard and it’s causing me stress which isn’t good for my health as I have heart problems just trying to find out how to deal with it all.
@Louise42 sadly from what I read men in the majority handle things maybe differently, I think it was in a Jula Samuels book, their approach is more moving on with life. Though 2 months is crazy. How is he able to access your mums place - were they married?
All you can do is think of your healing journey, he has his own journey. But I think it’s fair for you all to talk to him about respecting your wishes re your mums place.
It’s was their place they lived there for 26 years it just seems to soon to have a new lady in my mums bed and walking round her home where her ashes are it just don’t sit right with us,
They were married 24years tomorrow.
Understand, not all us men are like that. I still live in the flat I shared with mum and I bought no one back. But I’m dealing with losing mum August last year and being diagnosed with Myeloma cancer too. I just don’t know where I’m going with life at the moment.
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I’m sorry to hear that, no not all men are the same.
It’s just so so hard, me and my mum were so so alike it was unreal we knew how each other felt and understood each other when others wouldn’t of so I know how hurt and upset she would feel,