I lost my mum just before Christmas last year, I still cant believe she has gone, and as heartbreaking as it is reading all your own experiences of the heartache and grief at losing your mums too, it also brings comfort that the feeling I have are to be expected, that Im not going crazy, and maybe one day I will be able to think about her without my heart breaking.
So thanks to all of you for sharing your honest emotions about your own love and loss for your own very special mums everywhere
It does take a lot of strength to open up on this site, but it is so supportive. As you said, it makes you feel you are not alone in your feelings.
I lost my Mum 2 years ago this September & it still feels like yesterday & at times, I can’t believe she has passed.
She was my rock, my safe person, I no longer feel safe since she passed.
She had a fall, went into hospital, but 2 weeks later, she passed. So it was & still is hard to deal with.
I am having such a low day today, hence being here.
You truly are not, sorry for your loss, I lost my mum in August of last year. It’s like your life flashes before you, a lifetime of memories. Not lost, not forgotten but something we all have to live with now as orphans and it’s soul destroying.
Thinking of you all, I haven’t got to the point yet where I can think of the good memories, almost cant think about them because it just hurts too much because she has gone, does that feeling pass eventually when you realise that it truly is final?..she occupies every minute of my day, always something to trigger a memory, a song, a food she loved, colours she wore, places we visited, beautiful words she always wrote in cards, it is my birthday on the 2nd Oct and it will be another ‘first’ without her, life is so different now, I don’t feel I belong anywhere and I don’t want to keep ringing my own boys as I know they are worried about me, even though they loved their grandmother dearly, I know they don’t feel the way I do, much more pragmatic, as they keep telling me, my mum had a good life, she was never alone, and she didn’t want to carry on with little quality of life, and knowing all of that doesn’t change a single thought for me, just makes me wish I had tried harder to ‘fix’ the things that I knew I couldnt.
Wishing you all peace and thank you for replying to me
Hi,
My mum was also my safe person. And I too feel unsafe in so many ways now she isn’t here. She had a wonderful zest for life which she passed onto me but sadly that’s all gone now. I feel nothing but sadness.
Sending love to you all going through this awful heartache.
Deborah x
I’m sorry to hear about your terrible loss. We pay a high price for loving so deeply. I try not to think of my dad and just get on, but my life now feels black and white; all the colours went with him. I think that’s how you feel too? I wish there was a ‘ cure’ but there doesn’t seem to be. But connecting with others like you helps.
Here if you want to chat xxx
Ellie
You are so right Ellie. It’s a hell of a price to pay.
I am almost two years along now and some things have eased whilst others are still very raw.
It’s a matter of keeping ourselves distracted but even that is easier said than done.
Sending love to you
Deborah x
Commenting because what you said about how all the colours went with him is exactly how it feels for me after losing my dad. I don’t know how to bear living in a world where the colours have gone, I try the best I can and have for almost a year now, but it’s exhausting.
