It’s been 5 months since my mum passed away and it still feels like a dream. It is her birthday this Thursday and I am just not sure how I will feel or cope. I have talked my dad into coming to my house that day , this is the first time he will have been to see my new home and sadly my mum never got to see my it due to health factors and the renovation taking longer than I imagined. I had so many plans in my head for when mum and dad came to stay, walks on the beach , going round the local pubs , she would have loved it so much and I feel only regret and guilt every day all day it never leaves me.
Will I ever feel free of my pain ? It’s killing me inside and out.
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Hello @Kelly1979 ,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
I’m so sorry about the loss of your mum: the pain and agony that follows is so debilitating and physical and sickening.
Everything can feel pointless and the future can feel desolate. Big events such as birthdays and Christmas are especially scary as we adapt to the heart wrenching new ‘normal’.
I think it’s good that your dad is coming to see your new house, and as bittersweet as it might be, to see each other and reminisce. I can tell you love her very dearly and deeply and I can bet she knew that.
It’s my Grandad’s birthday soon in December, and honestly the person who I was before he died, died along with him. I wake up and I know I will never be truly happy again. Just every second of every day I’m fighting the image of his face that come into my head because this agony is so distressing.
The pain I don’t think will ever leave - but we live with it in the background. We learn to cope a little bit better and take it day by day. Someone said something on the forum earlier - can’t go over or around so we have to go through all this pain. There will come a point that you can experience happiness along side the sadness.
I’m really sorry about your loss. This forum is always here for you.