Hi, I’m new here and really need some support.
My mum passed away two weeks ago. The cause is unknown and we have to wait almost 6 months to find out what really happened.
Basically me and my brother were really close to her, and her mother and siblings weren’t really on good terms. Now the family came around us for support. But that soon faded and when we mentioned we were considering a direct funeral everyone began vile and cruel comments and messages via social media. The family tried to force us into a full funeral but were not willing to help in any way. It was all put on my shoulders. As it happened I came across paperwork that showed my mum was interested in finding out more about a direct funeral. I felt like that was the right thing to do and since then everyone has been more and more abusive. I sent a kind letter to my nana showing her a copy of the paperwork and explaining my reasons for going ahead with this. The family are making out like me and my brother are being disrespectful and disgusting, and as I suffer with mental health issues I’m really struggling and feel like the most awful person in the world. I’ve tried to ignore their messages and comments but it is hurtful.
Hello @Taylor1 ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and the challenges you are having with your family relationships. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Hi @Taylor1
Im so sorry for your loss, and so sad to hear how your family are not supporting you. I guess they want a funeral so they can say goodbye but havent considered what you and your mum wanted. Its so hard that they cant support you at this time instead of causing additional upset. When my mum died my brother and i decided on the funeral plans and based it on what we thought she would have wanted but also what we wanted and luckily there was no one to go against that. I really feel ypu have to do whats right for you and your siblings, and just hope the rest of the family will accept that