Losing my nanny (heartbroken)

I lost my beautiful nanny on the 30th of December 2020 , that night it happened I have totally blocked from my mind as it was so traumatic , I really didn’t think we would lose her for some time , she had her health problems like normal 71 years old, my nanny has been through a lot she had a heart attack in 2020 but even after that she recovered well and was doing so well (we even threw her a welcome home party when she got out of hospital)

It all just Happened so sudden the night she passed I was in her house and she was talking away like normal then all of sudden she took a turn for the worst next thing I knew the ambulance was called and she just wanted to sleep , I’ll never forget having to say goodbye to my nanny over the phone but I knew I wasn’t strong enough to be there when she passed , my mum was there with her.

Now that the funeral has passed , I just feel empty like how can she be here then gone so fast , sometimes I think she is going to walk in the door , I don’t think I have accepted her death yet and I don’t know when I will , my heart is just shattered, the emptiness in my chest keeps me up all night , just don’t know how to deal with these feelings , I know I feel like this because I loved her to pieces and am grieving but I don’t know how to cope with daily tasks , does it get any easier?

Rose x

I’m really sorry to hear about the loss of your nanny @Rose365. I’m hearing how sudden this all was and I can’t imagine how hard it is for you going through this. You’ve taken a really brave step posting here for support. Always know that you’re not alone in what you’re are going through. Anytime you need someone to talk to, keep posting here as there’s lots of caring people here to support you through this.

You mentioned that you’re finding it hard to cope with daily tasks and wondering if it gets any easier. There’s a really useful article on our website that has been put together by some of the counsellors here at Sue Ryder. It talks about how to cope with grief.

Sue Ryder also offers online bereavement counselling which is free. If you’d like to sign up or read more about it, there’s more information on our website.

Take lots of care of yourself and keep us updated with how you are feeling. We are here for you :yellow_heart:

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Hi Rose
I can say to some extent it does get easier in as much as you learn to accept it as such. I dont know how or when this will happen for you some people move forward quicker than others some people struggle more than others. We know they wont walk back into our lives now but it doesnt stop us wanting or wishing for it to happen.
The sadness is in part there always but its a different sadness because we start to find that the happier memories pop in more often .
I hope you find some peace from your thoughts very soon

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