Losing My Only Sibling

Hello everyone I am new here, I am sorry for all your losses. I lost my only brother Feb 14th this year to Lung Cancer. There were only the two of us, we were very close. I miss him so so much. I get terrible bouts of hard crying. I am wondering if there are any suggestions you can give me. I know it’s still very raw. My brother was kind, caring to everyone. I cared for him and would do it all again if only I had him back. We grew up and remained in same house all our lives. Again thank you for reading my conversation. I wish you all the best.

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Hi Norm62

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care, Rhi

Hi Norm62,

I also lost my only brother on the 14th of February but one year earlier. He had a massive heart attack. He was 5 years older than I and was also like a father. He taught me all the things my father should have done. (Our father was at sea most of the time.) We saw each other every day accept of about six years when I was living in a different country. The phone bill was massive every month. Sorry, but I do not have any good advice how to cope. All I do is cuddle my last cat and think of my brother if my emotions allow it. I still cry like right now (and now I even forgot what I was going to write). It looks as if our brothers had a lot in common.

Take care - Nick

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Hi Norm62,

I forgot to tell you that I joined a bereavement group and we meet each month. We talk and have coffee and cake. I did not know what to make of it at first, but now, I go there every month. Perhaps you have one near you. This one here is being organized by the local church. - We also have a local Community Centre where we have a social meetings on Mondays, we play cards games and/or do some jigsaw puzzles. We also have a meal twice a week. Have a look, there might be something like that near you. - Nick

Hello Nick I am so sorry for your tragic loss. It so hard to cope with. At the moment I can’t face to any groups etc but will consider and look them up as I don’t live in UK. Services there are more plentiful. Glad you going to them. Take care of yourself and even though it will take time, maybe one day, our accepting our loss will be some help, I think that still a bit away though. Stay strong as you can

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Hello Nick just checking in to say wishing you peaceful Xmas, i wont be bothered with it, it doesnt mean much to me with a while but not now. Best wishes to you

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Hello Norm62,

I totally ignored Christmas last year, but I sort of acknowledge it this year. - I lost my brother on the 14th of February 2022 and I hope I will get out of the depression phase soon. It is not as bad as it used to be.

I also wish you a peaceful Xmas. I am going to watch TV all day and go for short walks today. We cannot change the past but we can influence our future. I will try. Take it easy Norm, I talk to people in the park, it helps. - Nick

Thank you for your kind message Nick. I spent yesterday and so far today, crying, didn’t do much yesterday, (Christmas Eve) and less today. Life is hard. Enjoy your walk I can’t get motivated at all. Perhaps in time.

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