Losing my parents is making me question life

I lost my dad 9 years ago this coming September, he was almost 91 and had been looked after by my mum for over 18 years after a stroke. I was devastated when he passed away. Watching him take his last breath in hospital almost destroyed me and I have to say that I didn’t think anything could ever touch that sense of heartache. That was until my mum (89) died relatively quickly last November. It was a really hideous 4 months that ended that year - husband had a heart attack (but was ok after a stent being fitted), I was in and out of hospital quite poorly with previously undiagnosed gallstones. I had 2 hospital stays due to acute pancreatitis and then a stone blocking a bile duct. My mum passed away just before we could get her home to die, which she had always said she wanted to go at home. 10 days later I moved house and then a week after that I had surgery to remove my gallbladder. At the age of 58 now I feel totally bereft. I miss my mum more than I could have ever imagined and this year, my only child will be leaving to go to university. I just feel so sad and cry pretty much every day. I feel like I’m having a major late mid-life crisis and just don’t know what to do. Losing my mum is making me question everything about my life and I am overwhelmed with a fear of dying and regretting what’s left of my life. I just want to run away, which I know sounds stupid, but I do.


It’s horrible when both parents are gone, you feel all alone with no one to go to for advice or love. My Dad died of cancer just over 3 years ago and my Mum died suddenly in hospital in January, I’m left with my 2 cats and one of them has been seriously ill this year. Sending a hug xx


My sympathies. :heart: I thought it broke me to lose my mum, but losing my dad now and being without both of them is a veritable nightmare you can’t ever wake up from. I too question everything and have no idea what to do with myself or, well, anything. I hope you’ll find some comfort reading and posting here, amongst people who understand. :heart::people_hugging: