Losing my partner at Christmas

I found my partner on Christmas Eve it was sudden and not expected I am still feeling angry and upset as I wasn’t with him when he died when I try to sleep I see him as I found him I am struggling with my loss and not sure how to deal with it


Hello Lily4,

I’m so sorry to hear about your partner - it must have been such a shock so it’s understandable that you would be struggling with your loss.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

Take care - keep reaching out,


@Lily4 my husband also suddenly died at Christmas. I went to work on the Saturday and Sunday my son rang me to say that dad had collapsed. Time I got home he was gone. I started CPR as still no ambulance. He was 53 years old. I feel guilty that I wasn’t with him when he died. The rawness of the early days have subsided but I do now feel a great deep sadness and as each day passes I am missing him more. The realisation of losing my husband is very hard as I still can’t accept that he has gone. I am trying to take one hour at a time and not looking to far into the future. I am also trying to keep busy. Life is so unfair and cruel. We have been robbed of our future plans and dreams. They say in time that we will grow around our grief. We have got such a journey ahead of us. I am waiting for trauma therapy. Maybe something you can speak to your doctor about.
Take care and big hugs xx

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I know … my husband passed on 16th december … just the worst time … had a terrible xmas did you @Hazel.1966 was like you and her husband suddenly collapsed ! Its just awful !! I knew my husband didnt have long but he only survuved from a terminal diagnosis for 6 weeks ! I miss him so much … i feel like my life is destroyed now ! Only thing keeps me going is my beautiful 6 month old puppy who i bought 3 weeks after my husbands funeral … god bless us all … and hope we can find some peace xxx


Hi Debbie yes I did have a awful Christmas though I can’t remember that day as was still in shock and numb. I had already wrapped my husband presents up and I found my presents from my husband in the back room which were unwrapped. I think this Christmas is definitely going to be worst no doubt. My son and I have decided not to celebrate this year. I am going through such a awful time. Not sure if it is because I am going away on Sunday which should of been with my husband and his best friend and a good friend of mine. Now my best friend is coming instead. Going to be bittersweet. Yes I do hope that we will eventually find some peace on this awful journey Xx

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Aw are you this sunday ? Hope you have a lovely time if you can ? Just take day at a time as we all say ! Some days my heart aches so much for my husband ! Ive lost faith in humans @Hazel.1966 i dont trust any of them anymore xxx

@Deb5 thank you… I will try. Yes my heart also aches every day. Going to get my hubby a black russian every night as that was his drink when we went away. Take care and big hugs xx

Ah … good idea :slight_smile: xxx

Hi Deb. Im so sorry for your loss and the way you are feeling. I lost my partner Mike in the early hours of Christmas Eve morning 2022. He’d been in hospital at the time and took us all unawares. He was 71. We had been together for 35 years and I was on my way and missed saying goodbye. That’s what has affected me the most. I’m totally lost without him. He was the love of my life and I miss his love and support and miss him so much. Im lucky to have had the love and support of my close friends and family but there are still days which are dark and I struggle. I’m angry of the things he is missing. His grandchildren in particular whom he adored and just wanted more time. It was not to be and so I have to put one foot in front of the other and just get through each day. Who know what is to become of me but for Mike’s sake and because he enjoyed life so much I am trying. Take care and look after yourself.

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Thanks @Lovealways i know exactly how you feel … my husband was only 60 and he passed on 16th december ! Its an awful time isnt it losing the very person who loved and supported us the most xxx