Losing my partner

I lost my partner of 19yrs (17yrs) married suddenly 6 weeks ago and it crippling me. She was only 59 and died of a heart attack 2hrs after the emergency services refused her an ambulance. I’m struggling with anger as well as grief and I’m finding every day so hard to cope with. I’m OK one minute, then screaming the next with the pain. Every program or song we enjoyed together I can’t face. I can’t stand silence so the TV or my audio book is constantly on, yet I used to love the quiet. I have 3 wonderful daughters and 4 amazing grandchildren. One daughter has moved in and the other has bought the house next door and the third just down the road in the village, but I still feel so desperately lonely. She was my best friend, my carer and the love of my life, something I never thought I’d find after divorcing my husband of 20yrs. I fell in love with her the moment we met, she was just such a thoughtful caring and loving person, my daughters and grandchildren loved and adored her, because she was just amazing with me as I’m disabled with my back. She did everything for me and never minded or complained, she would just say, well I love you sweetheart. She was always ready to help others too, it was just typical of her. How will I ever get over losing someone as brilliant and as amazing!!!


Hello @Jacney ,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your partner that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


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Hi @Jacney
So sorry you have lost your love so suddenly. I’m sure the shock must have been terrible. I understand about that having lost my darling husband to a sudden coronary embolus without warning.

I hope you will find support here as many of us have. So many of us recognise the enormity of the loss of our partners so can empathise with each other.

It is almost a year since I lost my Richard and whilst there are still plenty of tears I do also have happier days and I am making a life for myself with my daughters and future son in law as well as other family and friends.
I believe that getting over that first awful disbelief is a very hard step and takes time to process.
Try to be gentle with yourself and not expect too much in these early days. There is no pattern we can follow and there are many twists and turns in this grief journey as well as steps backwards and forwards. You can only take each day, or each moment of each day, as it presents itself so cry when you have to, remember the love you shared and accept any help on offer if it feels needed.

Karen xxx

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