So here goes. My name is Gemma; I am 39, and it goes like this: 5 years ago, I lost my partner of 13 years, my son’s dad. Watching my son deal with losing his father at 15 broke me, but I had my mum and sister to get me through so that I could be strong enough to get him through. On July 5th, 2025, I lost my sister in a car accident. She wasn’t only my sister, but my best friend and my biggest support. I’ve always been close to my mum, and losing my sister brought us even closer together; I thought she had gotten me through it, but how wrong was I? In December 2025, my mum was diagnosed with cancer, so I became her carer until July 6th, 2026, when she lost her fight. Since losing my mum, I’ve realised I never dealt with losing my sister; I just kept myself busy by looking after my mum. Now I have nothing to keep me busy, and I’m drowning in the loss of them both. They weren’t just my mum and sister, but they were what got me through all my tough times. I’m so lost without them, and I don’t know how to stop myself from feeling so lost and alone. I do have another brother and sister, but we aren’t very close, and I don’t feel like I can talk to them because I don’t feel like they understand me the way my sister and mum did. I don’t have any friends because I shut myself off from everything when I feel this way; I don’t want to burden anyone. This is the first Christmas without my mum, and we’ve spent the last 4 years celebrating together, so my emotions seem to be all over the place. I don’t want to celebrate, but I also don’t want my children seeing how much this time of year is destroying me.
Dear Gemma
I’m so sorry sorry for all your losses, you’ve had the most awful time. Losing your partner is such a massive thing on it’s own and now your darling mum and sister. This all so much for you to deal with would you consider seeing a councellor? I have not long started seeing a lovely lady that was organised by my GP. Of course they can’t help with the loss but it is an hour when you can share exactly how your feeling with someone your not going to upset. I also attended a bereavement group for a while, it’s good to talk with people who understand. There was also a councellor there if you wanted to speak privately.
We all need to talk, you can do it here but sometimes we need a face to face conversation with someone.
Christmas is going to be hard, we do it for the children when we would really rather not. All you can do is your best, one day at a time.
Keep posting, there are some wonderful people here who I’m sure will be along to say how they have coped x
Dear Gemma I am sorry to hear about your family. It’s not surprising you are suffering after losing your support one by one. Christmas is obviously going to be difficult for you especially trying to stay strong for your children. It’s a difficult time of the year for all of us grieving our loved ones my wife died on Christmas day and I’m not looking forward it but it’s not something you can hide from with all the preparations etc.
As Helen said you might find counselling helpful. This site offers some free counselling which people find very helpful. If you ask @Harriet I am sure she’ll tell you what you need to know.
I hope you find some solace here where everyone understands the pain of a bereavement. It’s been a godsend to me.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
@Lilgem222
I am sorry for your losses like you I have lost many family members. Including my sister who was always there for me . It 6 years since I lost her and still think about her . More recently I lost my husband 14 months ago suddenly to a cardiac arrest.
I have had counselling and attended a bereavement cafe .
It’s good to talk to someone who understands.
Keep posting on here they are lovely bunch of people who understand the pain of losing a loved one .
Take it one day at a time
Sending hugs 