I lost my beautiful sister on Saturday after 17 months battling cancer. A am completely devastating. She was my soul mate and we did everything together. I nursed her to the end. Friday night was so traumatic she was so stressed and scared it broken my heart when she kept asking me to help her. In the end someone came out to help her with a Injection x She already had a driver in which the lovely Sue Ryder nurses had done before they left. I am struggling so much and not helping I have twisted my back and itâs pressing on a nerve x I had a treatment for that today and got strong painkillers. She was only 63 my health anxiety has rocketed and I so overwhelmed with things.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Your sister would have known how much she was loved and can finally be at peace.
I lost my sister this week as well. Im here if you need anything. I find myself simply needing to talk to someone as im trying to be strong in front of my kids and everyone else, but inside my heart is screaming.
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Thank you for your reply. Itâs so hard to try and put on a face isnât it when inside your whole world has tipped upside down. Do you mind if i as how old was your sister.
Iâm so sorry to hear about your sister. The âputting on a face thingâ is so tiring. It feels like you have this gaping wound and somehow other people arenât able to see it. I remember feeling how surreal it was to move around the world and people treated me like a normal human being rather than with the alarm and concern that you would react to if someone was talking to you with a large physical wound. Sometimes (a year on) it feels as raw and painful as those early months but I feel even less like Iâm âallowedâ to acknowledge the wound.
Maybe just give it to people straight? Tell them that youâre broken and feel like you will never be ok again, even if they are random strangers. It might help them to know itâs ok if it happens to them in future.
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Thank you for your reply. It never heals for sure. I know my life wonât ever be the same. We did everything together and always helped each other through good and bad. I feel totally lost x
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Itâs only been a few days since my sister passed and I keep reminding myself itâs ok not to be ok! I have returned to work because I needed to keep busy, and I have broken down a few times in front of colleagues. I feel like I am living two separate lives now. One is this mask of everything being alright and people I work with, parents, and kids (I work in a school) just see me as good old jolly Mr. Webber. However, the second I stop or have a moment to myself, it hits me like a ton of bricks and my other life of a broken heart and silently screaming in pain comes crashing back.
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My sister was 49
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Thatâs so young. I donât understand why life is so cruel. I nursed my sister all through her treatment and watched her suffer so much towards the end. I really feel quite unwell this week physically and mentally. DR has prescribed me painkillers I have hurt my lower back so feeling pretty miserable and also sleeping tablets but so far they havenât worked I feel your pain itâs a living hell isnt itđ˘
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Goodness. I work in a school as well and also went straight back to work for the same reasons as you. And also randomly broke down in front of colleagues (never the kids, weirdly)
My main advice would be to take time to be on your own to recharge from all the pretending or it gets too much. I donât regret staying in school, though, as sometimes being distracted helps you feel better but you so need the time to be quiet sometimes.
Thinking of you both. X
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Feel exactly the same. Managed to hold it together in front of the kids, but whenever I heard the words âare you ok?â from a colleague, the floor gates would open. However, Iâm so glad I went back, kept busy, and the support from everybody was simply incredible! Thinking of you x
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I hope you get some time to recharge and do some things for you over half term. And if you do need some time off later, donât feel guilty. Your colleagues will want to help you x
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