I am having a lot of problems with the death of my sister it will be four years on the four of march since she killed herself and I was the one who found her dead and I keep seeing that morning in my dreams I just don’t know what to do any more
Also lost a loved one to suicide. It’s incredibly hard and strange to get through this. I am so sorry and sending you 
Thank you for your kind words and I am so sorry for your loss it is so terribly hard to get through sending all my heartfelt thoughts and
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you are in my thoughts tonight ( it is evening in SW USA ) 
Thank you again she was two weeks away from her 76th birthday I have nights where I can’t sleep and I am awake till breakfast it is 2.30am and this is one of those nights my daughter says I should go see the doctor about this 
I am in the US and don’t have family or health care so I can’t respond to your sister and a doctor situation. However I think We’ve been getting on for centuries and can do the same now. From what you said you are getting some flak from your family which hurt. They may also hurt and are not as in tune with your situation.
An online counselor said Can you turn down the volume a bit on that
Can you hear that but without drowning out your own reality on that.
Nobody knows what you have been through however you are not alone. Nor is your legitimacy disregarded
Thank you for your sharing. It helps me.