Losing my Sister


I feel so broken and that I am trapped in a nightmare and there is no escape. My beloved younger sister, who is only 44 was diagnosed with cancer 18 months ago and since then our lives have been turned upside down, never to be the same again. We are supposed to be growing old together and supporting each other, looking after our elderly parents. Instead it is our parents who are looking after my Sister. Life is so cruel, it is so hard seeing my parents in this situation. It is even worse seeing my Sister in so much discomfort and living with the knowledge that she is dying. I feel so helpless, I don’t know what to do or say and I can’t make the cancer go away. I feel so lonely and can’t stop crying. I can’t see how I will ever feel any happiness ever again. I am lucky as I have a lovely husband, but it is hard that my Sister or I never had any children and there are no children/grandchildren to distract us from all the pain. I am heartbroken and just don’t how to cope.

Hello BigSister. I’m sorry your going through such a difficult time. I know how special sisters can be. Two years ago my sister was diagnosed with bowel cancer. She had a bad reaction to the chemotherapy and she was so very poorly. The family were called in at one stage but thankfully my sister pulled through. I have lost a brother though and I was shocked at just how deeply it affected me. He died from pancreatic cancer. It was a horrible time. Five months later I lost my husband very suddenly. This loss overshadowed everything else and still does. Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to know that I do understand about loss and suffering. Has your sister been told that her illness is terminal? Is there any hope at all? All you can do is be there. Be there for your sister, be there for your parents. This won’t be of any solace to you but know you are not alone. On this site we really do understand and feel your pain. Take care. Stay strong. Love and hugs xx


Hi, it is truly sad to read about the awful time you and your family are going through. Your suffering is so complex, not only do you have to see your sister suffering, and prepare yourself to losing her, you also have to see your beloved parents suffer, and as you and your sister have no kids, you, as you say, have no distractions for you and your parents. It must be a very lonely time for you, and that is why I just wanted to let you know that we are here for you whenever you need us.

I lost my younger sister in April this year she was just 50. She’d cancer bowel that was undiagnosed, spread to her brain from diagnosis to her dieing took less than 14 weeks.
I too felt powerless as I watched her loose her battle. She knew, we knew there was no hope. I’d have given anything for her to be well, if only tears bought a miricle.
I’ve lost grandparents, sister in laws, uncles ect but nothing prepared me for the loss of my only sister. Devestated doesn’t even come close.
All I can say is you will be able to be strong for her, I was youl amaze yourself. And things after they’ve passed do eventually get easier.

Hi Bigsister I am hear because I lost my mum a month ago but I lost my sister to cancer 2016 and my heart goes out to you. I am so so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is - and you might even feel guilty for still being alive - I know I did. It is so unfair losing someone young and all in the wrong order. Poor mum never recovered. We are getting a puppy and it is keeping me going x

I feel guilty too. There was exactly one year in age between me and my sister. She should be here. When I have a good day and smile or laugh I feel guilt that I’m alive that I feel happy… I shouldn’t be fealing that way my sisters dead… I know I’m being daft but it still feels wrong

I totally understand - i wish I had found this forum before as I felt SO lonely with my grief for my sister back in 2016 x