Losing my sister

I lost my sister in April, she 22 years old, she was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma in February and we was told her cancer was curable, she developed a side effect to the chemo called ‘tumour lysis syndrome’ that sadly caused her kidneys to fail and she went into septic shock. I’ve never lost any one before and it’s a massive shock. My sister was my best friend my whole world and the best auntie to my 4 children. She lived with me also and my days feel empty without her.


Hello @Kayleigh2 ,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your sister that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

You may also find the following Sue Ryder article helpful, when you feel ready.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


@Kayleigh2 Thats horrific, im so sorry. You dont say explicitly but im assuming she was younger than you? Not that that makes any difference.
I lost my sister suddenly in March. She was older than me but, given the rocky childhood we had, she was my protector. Although my sister and i lived apart we only lived an hour away. My days were full of her. We messaged all the time, we spoke almost everyday and their home was basically my second home. My every day has changed which hasnt happened after previous losses, i pick up my phone to go and message her or call her all the time. Its right in my face every day.
I have no answers and no way of making you feel better, i wouldnt dare to try, but you arent alone. All i can say is try not to listen to people who are telling you what you should or shouldnt be doing or feeling. Thats one of the things im struggling with and, now its started, its hard to get out of. You are you and noone else. Happy to listen x

@Kayleigh2 oh just remembered, i signed up to the grief coach text message service from sue ryder. Its really helpful and, if thats the sort of thing that might help you, id highly reccomend it.

Hi yes she was younger than me, so sorry for the loss of your sister also, we had a rocky childhood too and we were each others comfort blanket… and I do the same I still pick up my phone to send her something funny then I remember. It’s like a horrible nightmare I can’t seem to get out off :confused:

Hi yes she was younger than me, so sorry for the loss of your sister also, we had a rocky childhood too and we were each others comfort blanket… and I do the same I still pick up my phone to send her something funny then I remember. It’s like a horrible nightmare I can’t seem to get out off :confused:

Thats exactly it, a nightmare i cant get out of.
And im at work trying to function when all i want to do is go home and hide. I look at people who are getting on with their day to day lives and im thinking how dare they? Do they not realise or care? Which of course day to day they dont. Its not affecting their lives.
Even my friends who do care, it doesnt directly affect them, they have their own families to care about, i get that.
Its a very lonely place to be.

It is hard watching people get on with their day to day life, for me I take comfort in my children I have 3 sons and 3 months ago gave birth to my baby girl. Before I even knew my sister was sick I said her middle name would be my sisters name. I believe my daughter was sent to me for a reason and that brings me a lot of comfort, do you have anything you can take comfort from.
I talk about my sister everyday I find that helps too.

1 Like

Im on my own. My brother in law is more like a brother cos my sister got together with him when i was 12 and im 40 now but i dont like to burden him when hes going through it too. Beside, he has his own family and friends that are helping him. When we were at his house after the funeral the conversation from them was all about what i need to do to make life easier for him. Hes had a massive loss you know. I genuinely love his family but theyre so clueless sometimes. And dont get me wrong i didnt mind helping him, but my feelings were ignored by them. I have a brother but he lives over 500 miles away and has his head firmly buried in the sand about the whole thing. My dad died 8 years ago and my mum is around but - well theres always a cause for the rocky childhood. While we’re on speaking terms now and have a better relationship now i wouldnt trust her to talk to like that.
I have friends but like i said after funeral everyone went back to their own lives. I would say my faith but im just generally raging at God just now anyway so thats not helpful.
Trying to get help through my dr surgery but that seems to be like getting blood out of a stone. Hence the reason i think i went back to school so soon. I knew id be alone.

So sorry for your loss Kayleigh 2. My heart goes out to you. I also lost my younger sister to a cancer they said was “treatable” but like your dear sister, my sister also went into kidney failure and became septic. She was only in the hospital overnight, and we thought she would pull through but she coded twice and died in front of me. My sister was also my closest friend and we bonded even closer after our mum died. I understand those empty days you describe. I wish I could offer more, but the best I can say is to keep posting and sharing on this forum. I found and continue to find kindness and support here. You are not alone (even though it often feels that way) Xxx Another Sad Sister

Hi VIVMT, I am sorry for your horrific pain, and I can relate. My sister & I also had a tumultuous childhood, and I being older I tried to be her protector. But sadly I could not protect her from the dreaded cancer. I also was in constant, daily and nightly contact with my sister, and there is still so much I need to tell her, to share the ups and downs, the funny and the serious. No one else can fill this massive void she left when she died. Take care, we bereaved siblings are in this together, because only we can understand this kind of crushing grief. Xxx Sister2

1 Like