My sister 65 died on 1st November from MND
She’d struggled so badly the last 2 weeks of her life, it’s just heartbreaking I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. She was surrounded by family and friends when she passed , my husband and I had booked a holiday for 3rd November and the family told us to go which we did. It wasn’t really a holiday it was nothing more than a recharge as we were just so exhausted from work and obviously being there for my sister in the end stages of her life.
I’ve said since we got back as soon as we got home grief has him me hard. I cannot stop crying , I cannot go to work I don’t want people asking me how I am , saying how sorry they are. I can’t cope. All I can think about is her last week , she suffered, crying out in pain, not being able to breathe , the fear in her eyes , just devastating, I feel traumatised, lost, guilty , anxious , I’m not sleeping , my poor brave, wonderful sister didn’t deserve this , I’m angry, she survived breast cancer 17 years cancer free , the MND strikes , just so cruel 
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I’m so sorry to hear this. There are so many nice people on here who will have had similar losses and will understand and support. It’s a big loss for you and you never know just when it will hit you most I think.
Sending you all good wishes x