3 weeks ago I lost my beautiful boy age 45. He battled cancer for 4 years going through numerous chemo and immunotherapy. He never stopped working as his job was within the health service trying to save people with cancer through histology.
I literally feel as if my heart has broken, I have shut myself away from the world just relying on my husband for support. I don’t want to speak to anyone or see anyone, I don’t want them to tell me it will get easier, how do they know they haven’t lost their child. James was my only child and my whole world the thought that I will never hug him or tell him I love him again is unbearable. I am trying so hard to support his wife as I can’t imagine what she is going through, she has lost her whole world too and she doesn’t have the support like I do.
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Hello Pookette, my deepest condolences for the loss of your son, im also a mother, and I can’t imagine the loss of a child, no matter how old they are. ..and so very sorry to hear he suffered for so many years with this terrible illness..im glad you and your husband have each other for support, my heart truly goes out to you, I hope this site helps you, you can talk about your feelings. Ask questions or just read, ..take care and may God strengthen and comfort you and your family during these difficult moments.…
Thank you so much for your kind words xx
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Hello Pookette, I’m so very sorry for the loss of your son. I have lost an adult son too and my heart goes out to you. Losing a child is an unimaginable pain and after years of illness, I can only imagine how heartbreaking this must be.
Please know that you are not alone. I understand something of the pain and emptiness that comes with such a loss.
I agree with Lightmary that talking about your feelings, asking questions, or simply reading the messages on this site can be a small but important step towards finding support. Be gentle with yourself and take things one day, sometimes one moment, at a time. Sending you much love and hugs 
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Pookette
I have also lost my beautiful son at the age of 24years 73 weeks ago. He had an undiagnosed inherited heart condition. Died in his sleep . Both my husband and I still feel absolute devastation at his loss. Personally, I am happy to lock myself away in my home and not bother with anyone. I cry on and off all day and can’t be bothered with other people’s trivialities. I really don’t think that things will ever feel any different. I’m afraid you will probably be the same. It is our price to pay for loving our children so much.
Sending you much love and strength x
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Hi Letty68
Thank you for your message and kind words. I feel like you just want to hide away hate having to listen to people talking about their lives and their family. I want to just shout what about my Son, he was my world.
I really don’t know how to move forward without him. Looked for local support groups for people in similar situation but none local or they are for losing partners.
Sending much love and strength xxxx
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Hello Belovedson
Thank you for reaching out and for your kind words.
I know it is early days but really struggling to accept he’s gone.
In some ways it helps talking about him but still can’t even say his name without breaking down.
sending much love & strength xxxx
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Talking about our sons, even though it makes us cry, is one way of keeping their memory alive. We take our loved ones with us as time moves on by talking about them, remembering them on birthdays and including them in small but important ways. The love we feel for them will always be there.
I understand when other people don’t talk about them and instead only talk about their own lives. I’m not sure if they don’t know how to, find it difficult, or perhaps feel uncomfortable. Being able to talk about our sons and share memories can mean so much.
I haven’t found a group near me for bereaved parents, so sharing on this site has allowed me to talk about my son and my feelings. I cry when I write about him and I think that is normal. Sometimes the tears are simply part of how much we love and miss them.
I also understand what it feels like to “lock” yourself away. I made the world around me very small. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with PTSD and depression and received eight months of therapy that things began to change, little by little. I still have a long way to go.
I didn’t know much about therapy and I often spent much of the time crying and struggling to speak. But even that was a tiny step and it has allowed me to have small amounts of “ok” time. I think grief is something we learn to carry rather than something we simply leave behind. Talking about our sons, remembering them and allowing ourselves to feel everything that comes with that is part of keeping them with us.
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Thank you I can relate to what you say, I am trying to find a support group near me which hopefully will help me.
I am also very sorry for your loss 
and thank you again for reaching out xxx
I lost my precious son Josh, aged 34 , 4 weeks today. Nothing can describe the pain. I’m so glad I found this group x
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JulieT05
So sorry that you have lost your lovely son. 
The thing that you’ll notice after you’ve been on here for a while, are the amount of parents who are going through the same nightmare that you are going through. When you lose your child you think that no one else can possibly know what the pain feels like. But sadly, there are so many of us who do. Most of the time you will just want to vent . We are all here to listen and to share our experiences with you. Xx
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Thank you, this means so much x
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I am so sorry for your loss, we both seem to be in the same time scale of shock, anger, disbelief but most of all overwhelming grief.
Please keep in touch we can try to help each other xxx
Hello JulieT05, I am so sorry that you have also lost your son too. You’re right, it’s extremely difficult to describe the pain. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
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