Hi all
I’m new to this forum & wanted somewhere to vent my feelings.
My Son’s Dad passed in May this year after an 18 month battle with aggressive Oesophageal Cancer.
We weren’t together but he was still a big part of our family & I loved him dearly but now as a brother rather than a partner.
My Son is 11 years old & I also have a daughter who has just turned 7. I am married to her Dad & he is very supportive.
Im supporting my Son through his journey of grief which is really difficult but I also have my own grief. Both for the loss of a loved one but also for my Son’s loss of his Dad.
I find that I’m unintentionally putting my grieving to the back as I’m concentrating on my Son.
I feel like I’m on autopilot, doing the daily chores, school runs, working, after school activities etc which I’m generally coping with but lately I’m finding that I’m coping less & less.
I have the usual friends who “support” me but don’t feel like I can offload to them too much as I’m scared they’ll dread seeing me!
I have a drs appointment this week but don’t see what they can do. My Son’s school SENco suggested that I log it with them.
I’m finding sleeping tricky as although I sleep, I don’t feel that I completely relax & often wake feeling tense & achey.
I’ve spoken with Winstons wish & am booked on an online support group for those supporting others in grief & my son is also booked on one for children in similar situations to him.
I just feel that I’m constantly on edge & tight.
I broke down to my Son’s SENco today after receiving a letter about him being late for class! I was really cross & upset as we had a really difficult week the week before last & he shut down a few times & I struggled getting him to school then received a general letter telling me off for it. When speaking to her I just cracked completely out of the blue! So embarrassing!!
I don’t really know where I’m going with this! I just felt the need to get it out there to anybody who will listen.
Thank you