Losing my son Shane

My son passed away last year at the age of 48. There isn’t a day that passes that don’t think of him. I have this enormous hole in my life and finding it very hard to move on.
I light a candle everyday to make sure he finds his way back to me.
I think talking about him helps me so I have decided to have one to one counselling.
I’m retired but my husband still works so I do get a bit lonely. I have a dog Jesse who I walk everyday and that helps.
My daughter is a great help and we speak everyday, but of course she is grieving too.
Thank you for letting me write this, it really does help to talk, I know there is so much more I could write but I don’t want to bore anyone.


Hi @Sandra3

I’m s sorry for the loss of your son.
I lost my son 9 weeks ago so understand .

I notice you said you can’t seem to move on .
I think that could be the problem .

You are trying to move on when you can’t .
We can’t ‘move’ on from losing out precious children . We have to somehow learn to live alongside our loss and try to live a reasonable life and that is so hard .

Society expects us to get over death and move on but we simply can’t .

Talking about your son is a good thing as you can keep him with you in the present .

I hope the 121 session will help .

Have you thought about attending a support group ? The compassionate friends run them throughout the uk . You could build some friendships from this to help with the lonliness and these people will truly understand as they have too lost children .

Sending a hug



Hi Tilly13
Thank you for your reply and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Of course you’re right I need to learn to live with the loss of Shane. Keep his memory alive by talking about him.
I would love to find a support group and will try and find one in my area.
Sending you big hugs


@Sandra3 if you email The Compassiobate friends they will send you info ……

Tilly thank you so much.

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