Losing my son

My beautiful baby boy was killed on his motorbike on the 26th September this year. He was 18 years old and my absolute everything. I was there and saw everything the paramedics were trying to do to resuscitate him as his friend that was with him rang me to say there had been an accident. I saw the air ambulance land, the blue lights lighting up the sky and then the paramedics covering him as they couldn’t save him. I am struggling so much. All I want is to be with him but I promised my daughter I wouldn’t do anything stupid. It’s so hard. I can’t concentrate on the simplest of tasks. I cry all the time. I have developed tics which then stress me out. I have flashing images of that night and of my son through the years. I feel I am going mad. I know it still early days but I need to know how to carry on without feeling like this.

Im so sorry for your loss. I also lost my son August 11th he was 29. I can feel your pain and the constant crying so many times i asked myself why? He was my baby of 4. We were so close. I just know that i thought it would get easier but instead its seems to be worst with Christmas too. I am blessed to have my otherechildren close by but every day i struggle. I just joined this group so i hope to be of some help & to share May you find some peace