I lost my son after a tragic accident whilst he was on holiday with his friends at the age of 17, it is 15 years ago but this time of year it still hits me so hard. I have a daughter so try to carry on as I have always done for her. But this year after Christmas Day I really went into a low place. It’s so hard as people that have not lost a child do not really understand so I continue to be bright around them. I really do feel for all of you that have recently lost a child and I want to say I don’t always feel this way. I have ups and downs like a roller coaster. But if I think of my son too much it still breaks my heart. I had Bereavement counselling a few months after he died and joined a support group then. Which was a great help at the time. You never get over losing your child but eventually you can live with it and I try to carry him with me always in my heart.
Thank you for posting. I think you have confirmed how I thought I would feel further down the line, having lost a child.
It is comforting to know that you do not feel deeply down all if the time. I guess we could not sustain this level if grief indefinitely and there has to be some let up sometimes. There is though the feeling that by holding tight on to our grief that we are not letting go of our child. I know this is a common thought and yet another part of the exhausting journey through grief.
Since day one ( now 18 weeks) I have been hoping I will be able to live forward with my daughter in my heart. I haven’t worked out how to do this yet but I know it is very early days.
Sending you hugs and hoping you will feel comfort and peace soon. Xx
I just want to empathise with your tragic loss. In the past I have known people who had lost a child. I think you are right that you cannot truly understand unless you have lost a child. And it is especially sad when it is a young person. My daughter was 32. She died in September. I hope that you find peace in 2019. xx
So sorry Lily. Very raw for us right now.
Wishing you peace x
For the 1st time in months I have slept a full night with no nightmares, I came away to our caravan & wow it has helped , I have booked on for some counselling so maybe that will also help
My son was also 32 with 2 young children , his life had all fallen into place & in a second he was gone , no goodbyes , I try to remember the funny happy times as much as I can & I try to be the best nanny to his lovely sons
Hi Matella, I am so sorry for your very sad loss of a child. I remember when I first lost my son it was unbearable. I put a photo album together of all his photographs through the years it was my way of dealing with my grief. I also kept myself busy , I found it helped. I needed to talk about my son, but found people would not mention his name as they didn’t want to upset me. I went through a feeling numb stage, then angry and then depressed. It was so very hard. When I returned to work I had to be cheery as my counsellor had said you will have to initiate conversation as your colleagues will not know how to approach you. I remember each day after leaving work I would get home lie on my bed and cry the pain was so bad and I felt it was like a black hole. As I previously mentioned the pain does ease but it comes back in waves. I felt really down just after Christmas Day for a few days, but I’m feeling a lot better now. Take care and look after yourself there is light at the end of the tunnel with little set backs now and again , xxx
Hi Lily, I’m sorry to hear of your very sad loss. It is very hard when it is your child that dies as it just shouldn’t happen, we should pass before our children. It is heart breaking no matter how old they are, I’m feeling better again now, special celebrations bring grief into the fore front again. I wish you also peace for 2019, take care xxx
Hi I lost my son not a year yet will be in 2 days
I feel like a different person now and I am sure we will never get over the loss of a child be strong be kind to yourself
It is absolutely devastating. I lost my son in April. I had my first counselling session this week. I just want a miracle that would bring him home…it was very very difficult to talk about my loss. The words get stuck in my throat. So sorry for your loss