It’s been just over five months since my son passed away after an accident which left him with a devastating brain injury that he had no chance of recovering from. Some days it doesn’t seem real still, how can my son be gone forever? I carried him, gave birth to him, brought him up and then he gets taken away from me like this at the age of 30. Some days it feels like it was all yesterday and other days it feels like a lifetime since I last saw him. I feel like I’m being sucked into a black hole and drowning all at the same time. I’m struggling to sleep which makes everything seem worse. I’m trying to be strong for my other three sons but inside I’m slowly dying. 
I don’t feel like anyone else understands my grief, I’m forever trying to hold it in so I’m not burdening anyone else with it.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. My youngest son died 14 weeks ago tomorrow and he was 25 years old. His was an unexpected death and I have an older son who keeps me going.
You mustn’t think you are being a burden to anyone and if you need to cry, scream or talk to someone you should be able to without feeling guilty or worrying about upsetting others. The loss of a child is a pain like no other and you need to release your own feelings. Have you had any counselling or do you have a close friend to talk to?
I try and take each day as it comes and some days are easier to get through than others. There is lots of support on here and people who understand what we are going through.
Sending hugs XX
I’m so sorry for you loss Anne! 
Thank you. I hope you find a little comfort from talking to people on here 
XX
Hi Anne,
I feel your pain.
I lost my beloved son 17 months ago at the tender age of 31 and I still cry every single day.
I’m in total shock and disbelief at losing him and my heart aches every single minute of every day but we as mums we have to cherish our memories together.
They deserve that.
Love Jayne xxx
Hi Jayne, I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. Our boys were so young and I find it difficult to accept most days. I hope you have a lot of good support around you. Sending hugs XX
Hi Anne25,
You hope beyond everything else that you will get that support and love from those around you but for me the true facts are that you very quickly become isolated and abandoned.
I find that the hardest thing as a result of losing my son is that I’ve also lost everyone that I believed would be there for me when I needed them most and that includes family.
It’s heartbreaking,it’s a double wammie.
It’s a very lonely place to be and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Hope you are getting the support you need.
Much love, Jayne xxx
Hi Jayne, sorry for the late reply. My sleep pattern is all out then work today.
I understand what it feels like to have family and friends drifting away. Those closest to me don’t really bother getting in touch and the people I have had more support from are those that didn’t even know my son - people I work with. I’ve had a few of my son’s friends keep in touch and I hadn’t met them before he passed away. It feels as though some think my son dying is contagious or I will bring them bad luck… I don’t know.
I’m getting used to it now and I have my eldest son to think about… he’s my reason for carrying on because I know without him I would give up completely.
I hope today has been a better day for you
Thank you Anne25 for getting back to me.
I too have a daughter who is 4 years younger than my son and I have to try to be strong for her but it’s so very difficult.
She is so traumatised by the events that dreadful day that I need to help her through this terrible journey we’re on.
We become overwhelmed and overprotective of them and that makes our healing process so difficult.
It’s like walking through a minefield.
I hope you’ve had a better day today.
Much love,
Jayne x
I agree Jayne, making sure our other children are supported means we sometimes forget to take care of ourselves and have to hide our grief from them. My eldest son is 13 months older than his brother so they were very close growing up. There are days when I can’t believe I won’t see my youngest again and it’s just very surreal. Sometimes I pretend he’s working away just to get through the day…
Does your daughter live at home with you and is she having any outside support? I lost my youngest brother two years ago so understand what it’s like to lose a sibling too sadly.
Today was not too bad thank you. I work with lovely people who are very understanding and supportive XX
Hi Anne25,
Yes my daughter still lives at home,she was planning to fly the nest in the March after her brother passed away but for some obvious reasons she is still with us.
She is struggling with the events of that horrendous day as we were both here at home with my son when he very suddenly and completely unexpectedly passed away of a cardiac arrest. I tried in vain to save him and no emergency services arrived for over 46 minutes.
We are both traumatised and my daughter is still unable to talk about that day or say her brother’s name.
She had some therapy but as always it’s only 12 sessions and she had only just begun to scratch the surface.
I try to support her the best way I can but it’s difficult when you yourself are in pain.
Thank you for reaching out to me and take care of yourself,
Much love,
Jayne x
I understand what you’re going through . I lost my son 16th Feb this year he was hit by a bus while out running.he had a catastrophic brain injury . We have two daughters he was our youngest . The girls are really struggling but trying to support us. I feel hollow like you and still can’t believe this has happened. My heart breaks for you it’s just so unfair and cruel
Hi Lass2,
My heart goes out to you to,
Losing a child is not the right way round.
My son was a beautiful soul and we miss him so very much,especially my daughter who is still finding it difficult to even process the loss.
The loss of a child is incredibly devastating and heartbreaking.
I feel for you and can’t imagine how much pain your going through right now but rest assured I am on the same journey and I know it’s the most devastating,painful and heartbreaking thing any parent can ever experience.
All my love and support to you,
Jayne xxx