I am 47 male and in October last year i lost my Soulmate Lynn. She was diagnosed with a rare form of lung cancer which I feel bitter as it could of been picked up on previous times. I am broken hearted as we loved each other so much and though we had blips , we talked and showed our love in many ways. She was a poet, writer and artist in her life and also a Lay Reader. I miss her so much and surprised how i am still here. I just about function and just no energy at times. i had counselling but only helped in little ways. I have tried so hard to distract myself but I keep going over and over the same things in my head. It haunts me. She passed away in my arms and knew i was there but the pain of her loss in massive. I am scared being on my own and living a life without her. There are days I just don’t want to wake up. I just want to be with Lynn. My heart is broken and the pain real. I spoken to mental health teams but there is nothing they will do and my G.P is only limited in what he can do. I feel constantly sad all the time and everything is a trigger and cry and cry. I talk to her but I miss the physical touch and expect her to text or call me still. Her family all live in Australia and they have all moved on from it. But i haven’t and feel desperately sad and feel no one really understands what it like. I try and distract myself but it only short lived and my mind just goes back to Lynn and how she was. I look at our photos and last year and they are bittersweet. I feel so at a loss and feel a shadow of myself. Sometimes i just want to give up and be with her. I just don’t know how i can live with out her.
Hello Grant.
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your soulmate, Lynn.
I can see you have tried counselling and that you have seen your GP. Please know we are here for you, if you feel another counsellor may help, then Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.
I am confident our lovely members will reply very soon. They will have words of comfort and support, after going through similar experiences and loss.
Take care,
Audrey,
Online Community Team
HI,
I am 18 months along after losing my husband & I often still feel like you do now but the rawness has dulled & I can think back to happy memories with a smile tinged with sadness.
I didn’t think at the point you are that I would survive it but without you wanting it days pass and yes you will find that other peoples life’s will move forward and you will feel like things happened yesterday even though it was months ago but I try to remember that I was the only one who had the special relationship with him and that is why I am and probably always will grieve for my lost other half.
I try to remember that I & my husband were privileged to have found eachother & even though one of us is gone I have such memories that I am thankful for and hope will sustain me for the rest of my life.
For me the passing of time has been the thing that has helped me.
Hello grant
I’m very sorry about the loss of your partner Everything you say I can relate to
You say no one really understands how you’re feeling Well I can I lost my husband April last year We were married 43 years and these past months have been truly heartbreaking The loss is massive and not something you can ever move on from I’ve realised this loss is something I have to try to live with but it’s very hard The sadness and loneliness is overwhelming I can only hope time makes it more bearable I also talk to my husband all the time and look at his photos I also find writing down my feelings and memories very helpful to get things off my chest My husband died during the first lockdown and I had so much I wanted to say but no one to talk to about him and it helps me
I hope that reading the posts on here brings you some comfort knowing that others can relate to how you feel and share your pain
Thinking of you and take care
Christine
hello Grant. I feel quite similar. My husband died suddenly in October. His family live in the Netherlands (he is Dutch) and they already seemed to have moved on after a couple of weeks because he wasn’t part of their daily lives. I am on a family WhatsApp group with them and all is back to normal and no real response when I mention him (there are 5 brothers and sisters and each has a spouse on the group, my husband was second youngest but first to die).
We didn’t have kids so I suddenly have nothing related to him except me, our house and cats.
I echo your feelings. I am desperately grabbing around to try and do anything to take the unbearable pain away but dont think it ever will.
I hope I’m wrong. I’m sorry that this happened to you and hope you can find ways to keep going somehow.
Hi, I couldn’t just scroll past your post, and I’m so sorry for your loss, I too lost my soul mate in June last year. I thought I might mention that Tom Zuba and grief is helping me get through my grief, he lost 2 sons and his wife, he is an author and he does YouTube videos, if you feel up to it, look him up. Take care and I hope it helps you. Margarita
Morning grant
So sorry to hear about You losing your soulmate
I to lost my husband December the 5 th
He was my best friend soulmate love off my life
I am heartbroken struggling every min off the day
X
Hi, I lost my soul mate ,my once in a lifetime in july. He was my anchor helped me when everything else was spiraling out of control and made me feel loved and cherished. I talk to him every day . I have brought a beautiful book to write to him in but cant bring myself to start it. People are telling me he would want me to be happy, but I feel the pain of his absence so incredibly.
I am sending a virtual hug to you all as I know the hig and feeling of belonging is so wthing we all miss
Thank you for your kind and compassionate replies. I take great comfort in them. I try so hard to not feel the intense sadness but its so hard. I feel quite numb and the loss is so intense. I will try and continue as best i can. I know Lynn would not want me like this. But when you have loved someone so much its hard to adjust. The emptiness is so profound and my heart is shattered. I feel deep pain. I write my thoughts down and to Lynn too but some days it hard to get the motivation going. I try my best as i don’t want to let her down. she was always a positive lady and supported me through my dark times. I just didn’t know how this was going to have a huge impact on me. Thank you again for your kind comments and will digest them and see how i go. X
I think its just trying to get through one day at a time and seeing these messages make me realize i am not alone in how i’m feeling . Take carex
@Grant73 I also find it difficult to motivate myself. Like your Lynn, my wife was such a positive force for good and I feel empty without her by my side.
Off course covid doesn’t help any of us navigate our way through the mire.
Hi Grant
So sorry for the loss of your soul mate.
I am also 47.lost my husband and best friend at the end of November.
It’s really hard. And yes the nights are long.
We have to just take one day at a time.