When you died, it was like a grenade going off inside me, shattering me, scattering me into a thousand pieces spread high and low, far and wide. As the initial ‘blast’ slowed down all the pieces of what used to be me, gradually began to fall back to earth, first the heavier pieces, then the lighter ones and eventually ‘the dust’ that once was my soul. When everything is calm and settled, that’s when I will begin the long, long slow and painful process of trying to put myself back together as best as I can, so maybe one day I can be a semblance of my former self. Many pieces will be missing and will remain missing, nothing can ever be as it once was. I shall remain, shattered and broken, cracked and bruised. This will be my reality now, my ‘norm’ you see on the day you died……I died too.
About the size of it…cept I can see no putting back together…but your words are so resonant …,
I am very sorry that you lost your special person. I think this is the one place where we all can speak openly and honestly about how much we hurt inside. It helps me to know that I am not the only one who completely deviated by losing my husband 5 weeks ago.
I hope knowing that others understand your sorrow can help in some small way.
My husband died in April this year and you have described the devastating aftermath perfectly. No one understands unless they have experienced it and to go through it is the last thing you do as the person you used to be…I am so sorry for your loss and that you are on this journey with like minded souls. Sending hugs and best wishes, Jo
Oh Norris, you have described exactly how I feel xxx