in February I lost my step dad, who raised me after being neglected and abused by my biological father, he had lung cancer but he died from bed sores and COPD, I was there as he was dying and when he died, I also was the one who finished his Eulogy. losing him broke me completely, at 20 and my younger brother at 17 I feel I have been robbed of big life achievements being missed by him. I recently restarted university but extremely lonely and finding it difficult to emerge myself into friendships so I spend most days alone. recently my mum has met someone on POF [my sister in law set her up with] she is talking to someone as a friend, I’m happy she’s made a friend and I’m really happy to see her laughing again but I also feel bad for having cold feet and being unsure. I have heard it is open that maybe in time it could be a relationship, and this makes me nervous and I feel bad. I won’t tell her because I want her to be happy so much I love her and she deserves all the happiness but part of me doesn’t want another man in that position that my stepdad was I’m supposed to to be meeting him on Saturday and I’m extremely nervous, I’ve been sat in university crying wanting my stepdad and I am meeting a completely different man. I’ve had my stepdad hug me in my sleep holding me and telling me he loves me and all this change is crushing me. I just want to know If my feelings are valid or am I overreacting
Hello @abbie211, I’m so sorry for the loss of your stepdad. I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard, and you are not alone 
Of course your feelings are valid @abbie211
You have so much going on, and you’re so young. I mean that in a kind way. You shouldn’t have to face such a loss, so young. 
I think that universities put a lot of resources into making sure that their students are OK. Do you know of any helplines or groups you can access through your university? My friend used to volunteer for a phone line, like the Samaritans, when we were at uni.
And, of course you’re going to have reservations about meeting your mum’s friend. That will be so tough. On the one hand, you want your mum to be happy, but on the other, you want your stepdad. I don’t have any advice, there, but just know that your feelings are valid. 