I lost my beautiful wife to pancreatic cancer about 10 weeks ago. She had a short very painful time before she passed away. From diagnosis to when she passed, was only 10 weeks. I am still in a fog most days and dealing with anger (how she died, why she died, doctors, the world, some of her family, myself). I am seeing a grief counsellor. I go to the cemetery every day. I’m even angry that others are taking trips with their spouses while I drive to the cemetery.
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Hi DomDV I am sorry to hear the pain you are going through. I think it is quite normal to feel anger and many other feelings. My wife was given five months to live at 58, fortunately for me she survived almost two years. She died on Christmas day after two years of chemotherapy treatments for bile duct cancer.
The first two or three months were the most difficult to get through and since then there has been a gradual improvement. I found walking and exercise to be very helpful to combat the pain. Being exhausted helps with sleep and reduces anxiety.
Joining this site was also very beneficial as everyone understands the pain and suffering involved in a bereavement.
Wishing you all the strength you will need
Tom
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Sorry for your loss, those feelings you have are all normal even resenting others going on trips with their spouses. I lost my partner nine months ago he was 66 and had so much to live for.
Most my anger is directed at God, and myself for not being there when he died suddenly. Grief is all consuming, it takes over your thoughts and the pain is physical too.. I found in the early days getting out in the fresh air calmed me down. Much of it is a blur except for the funeral. If you have family willing to be there for you, accept any help that’s offered. You are on a difficult path hopefully it will get a little better in the coming months. Take care.
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Yes, our whole world stopped and my evil neighbors never came to say something nice to me, they are laughing like in a carnival and I’m crying inside of my house, so they don’t see me. They don’t appreciate much what they have. I’d give my life to be with my love for a while again…
Janka
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