Ive recently lost my wife due to complications from alcohol related liver cirrhosis and im in bits it was a difficult marriage due to her addiction when she was alive i didnt think i wanted to be with her now she is gone wow i miss her so much and feel guilt as i wasnt nice to her sometimes out of pure frustration she just would not seem to look after herself and never take my advice but i was always there for her i just feel empty now its being 3 months
Hello Steve551,
How awful for you to deal with. I am just over 3 months on from losing my wife - and without it being as complicated circumstances as yours - I can tell you I’m in a terrible place. Grief has stirred up many emotions in me that do include guilt, regret and just the sheer agony of separation. It’s clear from what you’ve said that you really did care for her, even though things were hard. Loving someone who’s struggling with addiction is incredibly tough, and it’s natural that frustration would come out sometimes - you are only human.
I have found posting in this forum very helpful - it’s somewhere you can speak your mind and you only ever feel supported. I’ve also started some counselling sessions that seem to be good for me.
I can only say ‘hang in there’ - it’s what I keep telling myself.
Best wishes,
Yeah im trying to hang in there ive started some counselling and i am trying to do all the right things and i knew it would happen sooner rather than later but its rubbish thanks for reply you hang in there too
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Im so so sorry the journey is hard .
Does it get easier. No jjust very different take good care
Yeah so hard and it was a difficult marriage due to my wife addictions that makes it even harder its rubbish
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Its so so hard my husband was paralized from the waist down…medical negligence 12 years before he passed away and we had our three grandchildren due to my daughters addition to drugs
So sorry for your loss @Steve551, as you mentioned in my post, your wife passed away in similar circumstances. I too have guilt that I was not kind or supportive enough and I left him 10 months prior to being admitted to hospital. Same as you from frustration that he would not get help and our family life being destroyed. It’s hard to help someone in denial and who does not treat you with respect. I have since found out that these behaviours go part and parcel with alcohol abuse, not that it’s an excuse to hurt the people you care about. Not wanting to be with them does not mean you no longer love them but you also have to think of your own mental wellbeing.
I also have guilt that I didn’t recognise the symptoms of liver disease until it was too late. Possible HE symptoms that I put down to him being intoxicated. Unless we are educated in Liver disease we just don’t know and amongst the chaos of our relationship it’s something that never crossed my mind.
Please let us know how you get on with your counselling, I am on a waiting list. I am also in a couple of FB groups where other widows/widowers are in the same situation and it really helps. If you would like the links please let me know. Take care