My heart goes out to all the people on this site i totally get how yo feel.My story briefly is as follows.I began our romance on my wife,s 19th birthday .She passed away on her 66th birthday 19 days ago.She had bone mets ,with unknown primary.She went from a very fit and active person to total debilitation in just a few months. We are both retired nurses and had some experience of palliative care which did not really help because we unfortunately had a fair idea of what was to come.I nursed my wife day and night and had the support of our daughters and many friends.Five days before her passing she told me the get her transferred to the local hospice where we stayed 24/7 .Nothing prepares you for this grief it really is all consuming.My wife,s send off is in 5 days time.We know this will be a day of love and tears and laughter…I am glad that i have found this site it helps you to realise their are many others in a similar boat.
Welcome @rac52 and so sorry you have to join this club. It really is help to know there are lots of us who know what it’s like. Hopefully you get comfort from it too.
Isn’t life just awful. I’m so sorry that you have both gone through this and your heartache still continues.
This site is fantastic and has been a huge support to me and others.
It’s all very raw and all consuming at the beginning. Take small steps and try not to think to far ahead.
My heart is with you…there is nothing else I can say…
Use this forum…it’s the best help I have found…I have had 9 councelling sessions and continue to have them… but this forum is where I have found most help 
@Ali29 i totally agree, this site has been my rock, especially as I had to wait 6 months for bereavement counselling. At least we all have each other and sadly a shared experience. Take care
@rac52 I’m so sorry for your loss
I have found this forum a lifesaver. It really does help knowing others in the same situation and are feeling the same.
Does the pain ever go ? I woke up this morning and just thought … i cant do it ! I cant do this joke of a life anymore without my husband … i am so bereft and heartbroken 
I’m new to this but I have had a little comfort knowing there are others out there also suffering
My wife of 55 years was diagnosed on Valentine’s Day with extensive small cell lung cancer and passed away 10 days ago the support that I have had from the hospital and other medical professionals has been amazing
@Deb5 I tell myself tomorrow is another day. It’s the only thing that gets me through the hope that tomorrow will be better. I’m 60 and have to believe that. I feel I have lost my purpose in life now and don’t know if I will find it. I often wonder why we are here if we have to go through this pain. My life was good and then it was touched by death. First my mum then my dad and now my husband. My rock in life. It’s all so painful and I ask what is the point as we are all going to die. I feel so afraid sometimes I have started to read a book a thing I have been unable to do for a while to try and escape it all even temporarily. I hope one day I will see the joy in life again Some days I get through but yesterday was horrendous I feel I am coping some days and then the grief just hits again. Tomorrow is another day. Sending hugs
Yeh i am the same … my life was good before too … we loved our life ! And i loved my husband very much … but i knew he was starting to be poorly … just didnt know whst the hell it was cos im not a Dr … 
I know what you mean tomorrow is another day … but today is my birthday and i have nobody to share it with … its so sad ! Need to go get some food in as i have absolutely nothing in . I was very upset yesterday so i didnt manage to get to shops !! Xx
How can our lives change so much? A few years ago I had everything I wanted in life. We were comfortable financially, healthy and loving life. Now my husband is no longer here after being horrifically ill, my future is miserable and uncertain. How do we turn this into positivity and have a future with purpose? I can’t imagine what my future is going to be and it scares me. But I’m only 56 and my husband would want me to enjoy life, especially as he was cheated out of his. I just don’t know how I ever will
@Jan17 I’m the same. We had a comfortable life. Had been looking forward to retirement in a few years now all gone.
I can’t think about what the future holds as it’s too painful. I’m 20 weeks in today and still can only think one day at a time.
I know we were same … awful isnt it and so cruel … xxxx just day at a time … that’s all we can do … and go with these waves of grief ! And boy do they hurt when they come ! Xxx
@Doughtyj I’m 11 weeks today. I try to just take one day at a time but I’ve always been an organised person and plan ahead. Obviously things are different now but I can’t help myself thinking what my life will be like in 6 months, a year, five years and it scares me so much. I just can’t imagine ever being happy again without him. Sorry for the ramblings. I hate Sunday’s and being father’s day just makes it worse (if it can be any worse). Sending hugs to everyone who is struggling. Xx
I hate weekends. They seem endless. Everyone’s lives are carrying on as if nothing has happened and mine has stopped. In that instance it stopped and will never be the same. People who haven’t been touched by the death of OH will never understand. I feel sorry for the because they have it all to come. They are oblivious to it and I feel sorry for them. It’s heartbreaking x
Condolences to you and your family, your grief will be all consuming and you will loose interest in life in general however I’m sure like me you will have lots of support around you, don’t shy away from it as I did the first few weeks let your family know he w you are feeling and hopefully it will help ease your pain just a little
Oh gosh I am so with you here, I hate weekends. Life is normal for everyone else and I’m starting to resent that. I keep myself busy, but even that is hard like everything else 
My sincerest condolences to you and your family. It is so true nothing not even the death of a parent prepares you for tge death of your soul mate even when the inevitable is known and it’s staring you in the face for months. My husband Robin passed on 16th December 2022 and its hard this new normal ghostly existence. This site is a blessing and it at least helps you to know through the sharings with others that your not going out of your mind. I wish you and your family strength for the funeral and beyond 
@Merle that was the exsct date my husband passed too ! I still struggling with the sadness of it all and wondering what the heck is going to happen to me ! My family have been utterly useless and im just living from day to day in this existence you call life !!! X
Its surprising who turns up to assist and when we take the time to notice the changes that are happening to us. Grief is and remains all consuming for me. When you shut that door, turn out that light and sink into what we know call weekend is now renamed hell and misery. Sad and lonely inside or out. Feeling like a prisoner people isolate us and we isolate ourselves avoiding places we went together even avoiding certain foods, films and music just to avoid the pain and tears that come so often with the beautiful sometimes joyous funny We had no children so mother’s and father’s days were never anything special between us. This year I was sent a father’s day greeting for my husband from a young friend it made me cry…I’m crying now…he was so special not just to me. Sending you love, strength and