Now is the time you need to try and keep busy.
Go out if you can, see people of you can.
I know coming home hurts but you need to do things. Just sitting at home all the time with just your thoughts will drag you down. Overthinking will also get you down, all the what ifs, and I should have dones. But you will do it, its normal.
Try to be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time, one step at a time
Wherever you go now Ann will be with you and memories are good
Liz x
Hi Liz,
It is almost as if you are in my mind.
My mind is racing with all negative thoughts, and asking myself if I could have done more. Should I/we have chased the hospital for more tests sooner, should I have noticed any changes and my biggest question is why wasn’t it me instead of Ann
As you have written up until yesterday you were busy. There was so much to do, to occupy your mind for so much of that time.
Then ……. time to think, time to feel, time to question and so on.
Believe me we understand.
In a way, this the next stage of bereavement and adjustment.
Keep on sharing.
I have found sharing on here with people who are going through this a positive step.
I hope it helps you.
Very best wishes Jamie,
Rose
Oh Jamie I do so feel for you.
I know exactly how you’re feeling.
Only 6 weeks ago I was the same.
Please try to get rid of the negative thoughts and concentrate on the happy memories.
Easier said than done eh? Unfortunately you will be having these thoughts tumbling around in your head, but eventually they will ease.
I’m not trying to pretend they go completely, every now and then one will jump up and slap you in the face when you least expect it. Just this morning I was crying (again, I do that a lot) over a negative thought that popped into my head.
Blaming ourselves is all part of grieving.
I understand what you mean about wishing it had been you, but would you have wanted Ann to suffer the heartbreak and desperation you are feeling now? At least she’s been spared that.
Now you have to start thinking about moving on, not forgetting, you’ll never do that.
I don’t yet know how you move on. I’ve taken a few steps but I don’t seem to be getting very far. But I know I have to keep trying. Roger wouldnt want me to give up.
Just try to distract yourself as much as you can.
I write to Roger every night, tell him about my day and how much I love and miss him usually crying my eyes out. But I find it helps, keeps a connection, keeps him close .
I hope you find some peace soon
Love and and hugs
Liz x
Hi Rose,
I do hope so today is so terribly tough. I cannot stop crying. Everywhere i look i am reminded of Ann.
I am so sorry to put all of this out here as i am normally very private about my feelings.
Warmest Wishes
Jamie
Please don’t ever apologise on here Jamie.
We all understand, and know this is a safe place where we can express ourselves without judgement
X x
As @Liro has written there is absolutely no need to apologise.
I think probably most of us, if not all, started on here because of our need to share.
We need to share our feelings about our situation in this strange world in which we now find ourselves.
I’ll be honest when I try to think about how I was the day after my husband‘s funeral, I can’t really remember because it was such a blur. So I think that shows how difficult that day was.
Thinking of you.
Rose
Thank you Rose,
I do appreciate and value the positive messages here and also appreciate that everyone is taking time to speak with me whilst also facing difficult times, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart x
Warmest Wishes
Jamie
Hi Liro,
Thank you so much, all yhe lovely comments and words of support are truly amazing and I hope to be able to offer the same levels of help myself at some point.
Warmest Wishes
Jamie x x
Hi Rose,
I have also been thinking about you this week, and how your kind words and those of other members here are genuinely making a difference.
I am so grateful and hope that I can also offer some positive help as and when the time arises.
Please remember Rose, I am also here for you if you need to talk.
Warmest Wishes
Jamie
Hi Jamie.
Hope you’re taking those baby steps.
I know its hard, yesterday I had a good day. Today I crumbled. There’s just no reasoning with grief. It does what it wants and we have to take it.
But I do get the occasional good day now so thats a step in the right direction. All I can hope is for more good days and less bad.
I’m sure Ann would want you to carry on, so take those baby steps and accept the falls. You will get there
Love and hugs
Liz x x
Hi Liz,
You are absolutely right, baby steps indeed.
Like you, i do have good and bad days.
I was an absolute mess on Thursday morning and then again when I went to vist Ann on Thursday and Friday evening.
I am ok today but Ann passed 5 weeks ago today so she is on my mind every minute.
Like you I hope it does get easier and also like you, I am here if you would like to continue talking.
Warmest Wishes
Jamie
I understand y husband died on a Sunday afternoon .
So they are very difficult.
Rose
Hi Rose,
Definitely the hardest day of the week. So many different emotions and thoughts.
Very difficult indeed.
Warmest Wishes
Jamie
Thankyou Jamie
It’s good yo support each other through, talking and listening
Take care
Liz x
You too Liz,
Never really gave it much thought before when people used to say it’s good to talk, but now i understand.
Warmest Wishes
Jamie