I lost my wife 29th April 2024 after her 4 year battle with Motor Neurone disease, we were married nearly 48 years the last few weeks have been really difficult, November 27th , would have been or anniversary, then my first Christmas without her, January 12th would have been her 66th birthday, then April this year it would have been a year since i lost her, to be honest i haven’t found it easy, her not being here , having now to live on my own, the loneliness, it just feels so empty without her, i try to keep myself busy , it’s the evenings i find are the worse for me , i know she’s in a better place, she was really suffering towards the end , i talk to her everyday, i know she’s looking down on me , i try to take comfort from that.
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I think even if your life is full of people we all feel alone without the one person that matters. I am ok in the evenings it’s the days I struggle with. We were always doing something. Neither of us could stand being at home all day. Now he is gone doing things alone is hard. I go for walks but as I’m a nervous driver I am limited of where. All my friends have families and although I will meet with people I know they have their own busy lives. I don’t know any other widows who can guide me through. I am rather shy with strangers, my husband was the social one. He would talk to anyone and everyone. I just need to get used to being on my own.
I find the home now is so empty without her , i try to go out most days, but i find the worst time for me is from about 5.00pm onwards just sitting alone with my thoughts, my wife and i were joined at the hip we were barely apart for the best part of fifty years, i know it’s only been nine months since she passed so still early days but i struggle at the moment with her loss 