Yes I have been on my meds for 2 & a half years. Same as you managing fine when my husband was alive but not since. I keep messing around with the dosage as the Doctors dont seem to know what I need . I have never actually seen a Doc in all the time I have been on my meds, just telephone conversations. My Daughter is fed up with me changing backwards and forwards with the dosage so I dont tell her anymore. I am on Mirtazapine & she thinks I need to change to another. Oh well onwards & upwards I expect I will get there in the end. Hope you get your meds adjusted & they work for you. Fingers crossed for us both. x
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How is it going?
Rose x
Just needed someone to talk to this morning. I am 6 weeks in to this horrendous journey. I have woken up overwhelmed with grief. Itās disheartening to know that others who are much further down the line donāt really feel any different. Like Rosegarden I lost my beloved partner suddenly- he was literally here one minute and gone the next. The air ambulance and paramedics were wonderful but sadly could not save him. I am fortunate to have friends and family but they have their own lives and Iām noticing the contact is starting to decline. I have always been independent and donāt like asking people to help even though they have offered. Itās the jobs in the garden that are difficult as I canāt lift heavy objects. I am missing him so much and the loneliness is crippling. People ask me if Iām feeling better and getting back to normality -Iām not ill !? and things will never be normal again. At 62 it feels like a long lonely road ahead and for some reason this morning itās unbearable. Trying to stay positive and I know this is the one place everyone understands 
x
@jody I am so sorry you are having a bad time.
It is something we can understand and identify with on this site. I certainly can.
The suddenness of how we lost our loved ones is a huge thing to deal with.
The air ambulance was called for my husband and was hovering when the decision was made to stop all attempts at resuscitation.
All those involved tried so hard to bring him back, they did not stop trying for a very long time.
I am sure I am repeating what others have said but although it seems like a lifetime,
6 weeks is quite a short timeframe and your emotions will be unpredictable and all over the place.
If you need to, take it hour by hour, or think what you think you might be able to do this morning, make a pot of tea or coffee, brush your hair, as you can see they donāt have to be big things. Then the same for the afternoon and the evening.
Please keep posting. We are all here to support you.
I wish I had a magic wand to make all the sadness of everyone on here disappear and loved ones reappear, happy and healthy.
That would truly be magical.
I can send you the biggest hug, my understanding and much love.
Rose xx
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Dear Rose thank you for your kind words and advice which is gratefully received. There are much needed this morning. I know we are all suffering in the same way but itās nice when someone listens who actually understands. Sending much love and a big hug 
xx
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I wish I could make all this disappear.
These down days hit us so hard.
Rose xx
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Thinking of you,
Rose xx
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Thank you Rose. Iāve taken your advice and decided to take the condolence cards down this afternoon and remove many layers of dust! Nothing exciting but I will feel Iāve accomplished at least something today. Just re reading them. Tears of sadness but also a comfort knowing I do have people around me who care. Then think thatās enough for today! Thank you for your concern. I feel a connection to you as we both lost our loved ones in similar tragic circumstances and much of what you post really resonates with me. Much love xx
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You have achieved things today both with cards and the dust 
. Plus you wrote about how you are feeling and that is a positive thing to do.
Yes, we definitely have a connection even though it is a sad and traumatic one.
We understand what each other experienced on those dreadful days.
Please remember everyone is here for you, we understand and donāt judge.
Big hug and much love,
Rose xx
Thank you Rose xx
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Thinking of you x
Thank you Rose. I do appreciate your concern. Itās been a very mixed day. There are some very kind people to whom Iām not related have been very thoughtful and others where I thought would have been supportive, havenāt. Probably being over sensitive and I do appreciate people have their own lives but it just highlights the loneliness and the fact that you really are on your own. This group is a life saver as you can have your moan and itās not judged. And as we keep saying, unless you are in our situation you really canāt understand the heartbreak. Wishing you a peaceful evening and a good nights sleep xx
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Im so sorry to here of your loss Tony67 . I cant imagine the pain you are going through but im here for a chat if needed ok. I lost my partner to cancer just over 2 months ago was an intense battle that only lasted 6 months Kerrie was 46 and i can really relate to Loosing my world . Be kind to yourself
Thinking of you today Rose. Hope your day is going as well as it can do xx
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Thank you Jody.
I have had a few tears.
At the moment I am better than last Sunday.
I donāt know why. Grief is a very strange thing.
Sending you a big hug,
Rose xx
And a big hug back to you too
Itās a very strange journey we have found ourselves on and constantly catching us unaware. And I know Sundays are particularly difficult for us ( and everyone on this site) xx
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