Losing my world

I lost my soulmate, best friend,wife&nana to cancer on the 14/04/24 after first diagnosed on 23/01/24 with out any time to plan anything lack of support& honesty from the start the people we put our trust in,We would of have been together 24 years ,I am totally lost without my Sharon :broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::cry::cry::cry::cry:

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@Tony67

I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife :heart:

My partner of 18 years also passed away from cancer on the 14th April, it’s heartbreaking.

Just wanted to let you know You’re not alone during this awful time.

This group is really supportive, so please just reach out if you ever need support.

Take care xx

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I also lost my husband on the
14.4. 24 to cancer we was on holiday in January. Short illness. Feel so lost, empty

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I’m sorry for your loss and totally understand how you feel. My husband was diagnosed on February 21st… started chemo on the 11th April and passed away on 16th April… it was all so quick and not expected… I cannot imagine life without him… I am currently just existing.

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@Heart

Sorry for your loss :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

The 14th April was a terrible day for a few of us then!

It’s a truly difficult time, I’m not sure when or even if it will get better. I’m hoping in time the good memories will fill my mind, instead of the anxiety of what could have been and the future that was robbed :purple_heart:

Sending hugs xx

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@Kajoa

How awful, sorry for your loss :heartpulse:

I know exactly how you feel.

Sending hugs xx

I feel the same. I have an amazing family and friends but when you are with people your mind is not. I feel so heartbroken :broken_heart: but I’m trying to live as my husband wanted.

Wow what a bad day how do we get through this ?I am broken,I’m trying to get through this I went back to work Monday had a few breakdowns,When I go home to our empty house and knowing my Sharon isn’t there I just want to be with her iv no family up here,I have friends who try but unless you have been through this they don’t understand :broken_heart:x

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Good morning @Tony67

I’m not sure how we get through this, I really don’t. One minute it seems easier the next the tears don’t stop. I keep thinking of the “last” times we said I love you, had a cuddle or just sat doing nothing together. At this moment in time I’m mad at him for leaving me. Stupid I know!

Well done on going back to work, that must be so hard. I’m not sure when I’ll be ready.

Yes people in general don’t understand unless they have been through this.

I hope you have a better day.

You can pm if you need to.

Take care xx

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My husband died one Sunday afternoon in March. We were just starting our journey home. He was driving very slowly as it was probably just a minute, if that, since he pulled away in the car. That was it, he was gone.

Passers by started CPR, then a rapid response medic team arrived very, very quickly and took over. Then more medics and I think 3 police cars.

They tried so hard to save him, CPR, injections, they shocked him quite a few times. Nothing brought him back.

The love of my life was gone.

Very nearly everyone has drifted away.
Some have even drastically limited the time they are available online. Even though, I was positive in my postings and messages.

It soon became clear, especially after the funeral, that they wanted to go back to their normal lives where bereavement did not play a part.

I am going to be totally honest this has had a dramatic impact on me. I have suffered a few bouts of depression in my adult life and I was so scared that I would descend into another bout. I think I may well be on my way to one.

I had been with my husband for nearly 50 years, so he had been with me during those dark times. He was amazing!

Now I have to fight this and survive without him.

I have been honest with friends and family about how bad I feel. I have had messages of support from some of those who remain. Others message me as if I am coping, some as if I still have a normal life.

Thank you for letting me share this with you.
Writing this has helped.

Rose x

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Hi Rose, It’s the same for me with people not getting in touch. I try and contact people I know will respond positively. Although they are few and far between. It amazes me when people ask what I’m up to at the weekend or they say have a great weekend. What? Don’t they realise that, that’s something that doesn’t happen now? Or maybe it’s just me being unreasonable? Take care.x

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That is exactly how it is for me.

Like you just a very small number of people respond positively.

When I received messages from a particular non positive person. I got a message telling me about all the preparations for a barbecue

fThen, after the barbecue, I got a full report, who, what food, and on and on.

Honestly, go ahead and have your barbecue please don’t tell me about it. It’s too soon.

ThIs person tells me all about their shopping trips, They do so much shopping :face_with_peeking_eye:

Do they really not get it? I don’t know why they do it.

End of rant

Thank you for letting me share.

Big, big hug,

Rose x

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Hi Rose, I think people are frightened we will be too needy of them and don’t want to get too involved.I’m very independent and don’t like asking people to do anything for me ,but sometimes I just wish they would say do you want anything doing.There’s some things I just can’t do that need someone younger or fitter than me to do .I have had plumbers at my house this week they had lunch in my garden and actually noticed a few things that needed doing that a woman like me can’t do so they just did them then casually told me they had fixed things.I wish family and friends were so observant they just think I’m coping with everything.

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I think that applies to quite a few of the people I know. I know I can be needy especially if depressed.

I have tried so hard to be positive and definitely not needy.

Of course, they knew we were always together. That was perfectly ok for us when he was alive.

Before Covid we would go out and socialise. Things definitely changed during and after Covid.

So it could be seen that we hadn’t reached out as a couple, why should people reach out to me now I am alone.

We definitely weren’t antisocial, we loved being with people and were upbeat. Of course, upbeat would not be something people would now expect.

I think what I most need is company.
That can be in person or contact online.
I can see how people want to continue with their own lives and don’t want to commit to what they think could be a permanent arrangement .

That was so nice of the plumbers. Some people can be so kind.

Thank you,

Rose x

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Yes I have been very lucky people always tell me to ask if I need anything but that’s not easy for me.Have you got children or close family,I don’t my nearest relatives are second cousins but they would do anything if I asked,I just don’t like asking.I have friends who message me every day but they are not in a position to help me they are either on the other side of the world or have serious health issues.We were a couple who did everything together and after almost 40 years I feel like I have lost half of me the person I never had to ask for anything he just saw when I needed him.I have also come across some very good people too like my plumbers only young lads but they know my situation and have really helped me this week while installing a new bathroom for me .

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I suppose everyone including myself just want to talk to someone in the same position. As family friends are there for me. But my daily life has changed. I’m trying to be positive as I’m lucky for the short time I had at the end with my husband. His words were you have to live.
I’m trying :disappointed:

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Hi Rose
Your situation is very similar to mine, Lost my Husband after 55 years of marriage & all together 60 years. we met when I was15 , I am now 76 & like you been through bouts of depression. I am on Antidepressants now but they are not really helping. I don`t think anything will we just have to take one day at a time. x

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Yes there are similarities.

It is such a huge loss to deal with anyway, without coping with physical problems.

I am so worried that this will turn into a major bout of depression.

Of course, it was my husband I turned to when depressed. He was amazing and so supportive and protective.

Obviously, I am now dealing with his loss all
by myself. So I feel very vulnerable.

It may be that we need to visit our gps and discuss our medication.

Take care,

Rose x

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Hi Rose hope you are ok? I am also on anti-depressants. I see my doctor on a regular basis but think I will enquire about my medication. Whether to change it to another one or maybe up the dosage of the one I am on. Take care.x

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The one I am on has been good (before my husband died). So I was able to function. I was even able to reduce the dosage.

I know I have to up it or add another tablet
if something triggers my depression.
I have never had anything as devastating as this. So I am hoping my doctor will adjust my medication.

Take care xxx

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