Our daughter, who was 18, took her own life almost 2 months ago. The mental pain and emptiness is something I can not express. I know it’s not been long since her passing but I’m struggling to deal with it.
I have 4 daughters, 2 in Leicester and 2 with me in Sussex.
I’m supposed to be going back to work Monday evening on a staggered return but I am dreading it. I am getting up every day as I have two young daughters but I am empty. It’s like I’m in autopilot, I’m not present when I’m doing things. I stood in Tesco earlier this week and just broke down.
I’m hoping that getting back into a routine will help me. I am trying to focus on things like my hobbies, but I have very little energy for anything. My body feels in pain.
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter that brings you here.
You say you are feeling empty and in pain. I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.
Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.
The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter, I don’t post on here much now, but I felt I needed to give you some support and maybe comfort, iv been in your shoes, and know exactly how you feel, my daughter (3 years passed 5th Nov) what your feeling is normal, exactly everything you said, I left my job last year, maybe you need more time or go back reduced hours, grief is awful, there are no rules on how long it takes, don’t feel rail roaded into anything, no one feels like we do, its a major upheaval with loads of unanswered questions, it takes time, its tough, it does get easier, honest, msg me anytime x take care x
Hi i lost my 29 year old son to suicide 4 years ago. i am still struggling. i work part time which takes my mind off it but when im alone he’s on my mind constantly. the what ifs, the guilt about things i said, things i didn’t say. you name it i feel guilty although i know i did everything i could to help him. im sure you are still so raw, it’s very early days for you, the one thing i have felt helped is talking to others who have gone through the same because they are the only ones who can understand this relentless pain. here to chat if it helps
I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. I too lost my 22 year old daughter to suicide 6 months ago. I’m still struggling with the fact I will never see her again. My mind just won’t allow me to accept she’s gone. At the funeral it was as though I was at somebody else’s funeral and I couldn’t comprehend how it could be my daughter in the coffin. I’ve started feeling angry, hopeless, guilty and sad. I think about her all day everyday. I will start crying over something silly. She’s left behind her 6 year old brother and they absolutely adored each other. Seeing him upset just breaks my heart
I’m so sorry that you lost your daughter , I feel exactly how you have described and I’m finding everything really difficult to do now. I don’t think this pain will ever go away, I’ve listened to so many people talk about it on podcasts and I’ve read different articles on grieving after losing someone from suicide and from what I understand, these profound effects that we are feeling are something we will just blend into our life and it will become something we just live with. I don’t want to feel sad though all the time.
I have another daughter with my ex, who is 14. She’s really struggling, I think she’s getting help at school but I really worry. My ex also has a 10 year old and a 2 year old.
I visit m daughters every month as I moved to a different area of the country and I don’t think it ever was accepted by them that I moved away. I had my own mental health issues after me and their mum split up and for five years I gradually slipped into a hole I couldn’t find a way out of. I think not seeing my children every day really affected me. So moving away to start again was really difficult and not seeing my kids as much as I wanted to was the hardest decision I’ve ever made.
I’m still here though and I’m grateful for everyone who has supported me when I was at my lowest 10 or so years ago, and now more or less exactly the same handful of people who are there for me as I try and deal with what has happened.
I am back to work, on a staggered return. They’ve been very supportive and have allowed me to gradually come back, doing the hours I know I can manage. It helps a little being busy, my mind is focused on something else - but the pain is there….waiting to jump straight into my thoughts when I stop.
, I feel exactly how you have described and I’m finding everything really difficult to do now. I don’t think this pain will ever go away, I’ve listened to so many people talk about it on podcasts and I’ve read different articles on grieving after losing someone from suicide and from what I understand, these profound effects that we are feeling are something we will just blend into our life and it will become something we just live with. I don’t want to feel sad though all the time.