Losing parents when a child


I lost both my parents by the time I was 15, my dad was killed when I was 5 and my mum sadly passed away of cancer when I 15. I’m in my 30’s now and it’s the first time I’ve really spoken about it all, I lived a fairly traumatic childhood and I find it hard to talk with others on my level. Growing up without parents, I’m sure there are lots of people out there in the same position but I haven’t come across many.

Keen to talk and learn more about everything we’re all going through


Hi I lost my daughter in October 21 she was only 36 I know have the pleasure of keeping her children loved and safe as they live with me full time, they are all girls twins 14 and older one 17, I worried how this will effect them in older life like yourself, any advice would be gratefully received, I will light a candle for your loves one you have lost big hugs to you xx

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Sorry for your loss, that’s a tough task taking on grandchildren although I’m sure it was never in doubt.

From the age of 15 I was without both parents. My grandparents weren’t overly strict on me as a lot of the attention was on my younger brother who has adhd and bit of a problem child. He still is and has his own battles with addiction

I found myself wanting to be around my friends from 16-28, I thought they were my family but some perhaps not.

The best advice I can give is from my own personal experience.

  1. They must do further education, college, uni, apprenticeship etc

  2. Self defence martial arts - judo, taekwondo , jui jitsu etc. wether they like it or not doesn’t matter because in the long run this will help them with self discipline, mental strength and keep healthy.

  3. Any type of yoga will help, they may not know it or know what it feels like to be a child who’s lost a parent even though they are. When they get older they’ll look back and realise they needed mental, physical and emotional help to deal with what’s going on in their lives. Being a teenager is tricky let alone losing a parent. Mental health at their age is so so important

  4. Keep them away from alcohol drugs etc, it’s all poison. If we drank alcohol in its purest form we’d be dead, don’t dilute it and think it’s ok to drink. It’s not.

  5. Love them, help them grow, encourage them as much as possible. Keep everything positive. They need it now more than ever!

  6. If like me they’re likely to be suffering from trauma & not even know it. Keep an eye on them.

  7. You need your time to relax, switch off, do nothing etc. As a parent yourself it’s horrendous you’ve watched your daughter pass away so your mental health must be looked after. What you’re doing is incredible and your grandchildren will be so proud of you.

Much love Owen

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Hi Owen,

I just wanted to say thank you for writing such an insightful post to support someone else!
I hope that you will also receive replies from people who have been in a similar position as you and can give you the support you are looking for.

xx Jo

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Oweng87 thank you so much for your advice, I will definitely be putting some of it in practice, means a lot you took your time to help me even though your suffering yourself, always here if there’s anything I can do for you, your mum and dad will be proud of the man you are today xx

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