Losing parents

I lost my Dad two years ago the suddenly January 2019 my Mum passed away very suddenly with no warning, I never got to say goodbye to her.
I went to the Chapel of rest to see them both hoping this would help ease the pain.
I was very close to my parents and after Dad died Mum was with me all the time and there’s a big hole now, how I got through Christmas without them I just don’t know, I have beautiful caring children and grandchildren and a good husband but I can feel so alone.
On the 21st January it will be 1 year since Mum died I just am not coping at all with losing them, how do you move on ?

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Hi JFlynn,

I dont think you do move on. I think you just eventually learn to live with it.
My mum died very suddenly on the 14th june. She was my best friend and I still cannot believe it. She was 74 and had a massive brain hemorrhage out of the blue. I am still in denial I think.
We lost my dad to a massive heart attack 21 years ago when he was 53.
So two parents both gone suddenly with mo warning and no goodbyes.
I know I will never move on. It will just be day after day without her in my life trying to live, work, look after my 12 year old daughter and keep a home.
I have no interest in anything, look forward to nothing and just repeatedly wonder how we got here? How could mum have been ardently healthy and happy with nothing but arthritis going on, to her being dead?
I chose not to see them in the chapel of rest. I ciuldnt bear that to be my last memory of either of them. So I just have to remember my mum laughing, joking and looking forward to our family holiday just hours before she died.
There are several of us who chat daily about our mums. These people have kept me sane the last few months.
Cheryl x

Thank you for your response, this is just what I am like don’t want to do anything cry if I cook a meal I know they loved. But I know Mum and Dad would want me to be happy and live a happy life but I can’t do this right now.
You can feel so alone even if the family are all around you.
I take each day at a time but just to drive pass the house that we lived in since I was 5 yrs old, seeing the garden that my Dad built up from nothing.
And to top it all it’s there Anniversary tomorrow :sob::sob: then two weeks later the 1st year of Mums death how do you ever move on.

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Happy to chat I’ve lost both my parents xx

Morning I know exactly what you mean about being lonely. I’ve got a wonderful husband who is frustrated he can’t help, friends who want to be there for me and brothers who I could talk to but I’m just so alone. I’ve also lost both my parents in the last 12 months, it feels unreal to think they’ve gone. I’m trying to carry on with some life but every few days I fall apart completely. I’ve been told it gets easier that the heartache although forever there does subside, right now I’m just broken. I’m getting some counselling through work had anyone else found it useful? I also went to a Cruse coffee meeting, I just burst into tears.