!Losing the love of my life

I lost my darling wife Elizabeth almost nine years ago I really thought the pain and anger would slowly get easier, I get days that I find it so very hard to cope and find !myself in a black hole. I speak to my wife every night just to tell her how much I still love and miss her and that she still is the only one I could ever truly love. My sincerest hope is that one day I will be with her again and how I long for that day. I wish I could just hold her again and tell her I love you so very, very much.


Aw George. That is so lovely and I hope you will speak to her again and be with her in eternity. Death is so cruel and grief even worse. I lost my darling husband to pancreatic cancer almost 3 yrs ago. Like you I thought it would get easier but this lady week or two I have returned to shredding buckets of tears. I just wish that if there really is a God he would spare us this agony by just letting us know that our loved one are ok and waiting for us. That is all we need to know and then we could perhaps live our lives out without this agony of unending pain. I don’t know if I believe or not but I have to live on in such pain.
I hope you find peace somehow and if your wife can see you she will love you even more for speaking to her every single night. I am sure there will be lots of people on here feeling the same as you. X


Hello George, I am so sorry that you feel stick without your lovely wife Elizabeth at your side. I do understand because some days I feel the same, my soulmate left 7 years and 3 months ago and the pain of being without them is hard. I also talk to him, each morning I say ‘good morning’ and tell him how I feel and then at night I tell him all about my day. I know it’s stupid but sometimes I feel he answers me but it could be just my imagination.
Yes, one day I will join him but I don’t know when. My wish is that I am walking down the drinks section in Sainsbury’s and just go. I did my shopping this morning, one thing I am still here and the other I did not go down that section. Now you can smile because I hope I have helped just a little. Look after yourself, I shall be thinking of you reading my silly reply. Take care Sxxx


Hi everyone.

I wish I could talk to my husband but I’m almost to scared to …. The reason being, for me it’s almost as if I’m acknowledging that he’s not here!! Crazy when of course I know he isn’t.

I want to know if he’s ok, but worry if he’s not. I’m not sure what I believe in …. After life and all that …… what I do know is I wish I had gone first.

I had a very panicky moment today . I was struggling to clarify in my mind what Martin sounded like. I felt it was pay back for the times I’ve had to block out a thought or memory when I have felt to overwhelmed by the loss.
I don’t know if denial is good or bad

Thanks for listening

I have to believe he’s somewhere waiting for me otherwise I don’t know how I’d keep going. Sending hugs


Hi all I talk to pauline all the time say good morning and give her picture a kiss talk to her throughout the day say goodnight to her and kiss her picture goodnight then I lay in bed talking to her I often fall asleep talking to her or cry myself to sleep I truly believe they can hear us and they are close by watching over us in the last week I have had 3 things happen at home that I think are signs from pauline I’m not overly religious but I do believe in God and heaven and I like to believe that our lost loves are in heaven with those they have loved and lost waiting until the day comes when we can be reunited I know pauline would want me to carry on and that’s why I do also for our pets I am so sorry we are all on this journey and going through this immense never-ending pain they say with deep love comes deep pain pauline always said she wanted to go first as did I because we had both lost both our parents so we knew the pain of grief but losing your partner soulmate love of your life its so heartbreaking crushing the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life I wouldn’t want pauline to be going through this my thoughts are with you all sending hugs x

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Trouble is I want to be with him now. I wouldn’t do anything silly …… who would look after our cockerpoo Molly and I certainly couldn’t put my elderly parents through this.

I wish I had a solution. Fast forward through this pain.

Hugs to anyone in need


I have the exact same feelings. I also talk to my husband every day. Telling him to wait for me and hope he still recognise me if I happen to live too long

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Hi George. I lost my wife of 48 years to cancer in April. No words or sympathy will make me feel any better. I talk to my wife every morning and night. The sense of dispare and loss are, at times, overwhelming. I am reminded of her at every turn and I hope that will always be the case for I do not ever want to forget her. I tell you this because one small bit of comfort I have had has been the thought that my wife has not had to bear what I have been going through since her passing. We agreed that who ever passed first the other would mourn for a while then put the ashes in a cupboard and get on with their life. So easy to say. Impossible to do. When we new Kath was not going to make it she made a list of all the things she wanted me to do for her. I did them all except two. I can’t and won’t move on and I can’t shut her ashes away till I pass. Like everyone on this forum I am having to adapt my life to living alone. I am sure I can do that but I will never be as happy as I was with my Kath.
Thanks for listening


Hello Ray.
What you have posted really sums up how I feel. I don’t want to forget my darling husband and I’m happy to think of him everyday. My only wish, and I’m told this day will come, is that I can remember and think of him without the searing pain in my heart. I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else but I do wonder how I will navigate the possible next 25/30 years without him.
I want to further down the line so that I’m hopefully in a better place emotionally but I’m also scared that everyday that passes is a day further away from my time spent with Martin.

Hugs to you all

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RAY You are not alone. It has been 12 months and 10 days and I still feel the same about my husband. We were ‘lucky’ as we thought we could fight the cancer but it killed him before we got to his first chemo. So we had no time for promises .
Having never been ill in his life and kept fit I am still asking myself how it happened and that he should be here not me. He deserves to be here more than me. It hurts to look at my little granddaughters and think they are so beautiful but Gordon should be able to enjoy how they have grown he loved them both. Now 6 and 2 years old the older one still talks about him every day and is finding it hard to understand why he can’t come back which breaks my heart again. I will never recover like you everything I look at reminds me of him. I know I need to stay longer to help with my granddaughters but they are my only reason d’etre

You made me smile. That was cute……hoping he’ll recognize me if I’m too old. I don’t think you have to worry about that since he will know you by your soul which is not physical but ethereal.

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