Losing the love of my life

Me and my boyfriend were together nearly 4 years, he was my absaloute world, my rock, my everything. All we ever wanted was to have a family and on the 19th of November 2015 our little boy came into the world, we were both excited,nervous and proud as could be new parents. Never did I think 3 months later after the birth of our son, my boyfriend would no longer be here. 28th February 2016 the day my partner went out with his friends and was killed by his best friend in a car accident, rear seat passenger and out of the 4 of them he was the only one that was killed. Also our dog was in the car and sadly had to be put down due to having a broken back. Everyone says I have to be strong for our son and I do try to put a brave face on, but I’m so tired, just exhausted, I just want to lock myself In my room and block out the rest of the world, but I can’t because I have to be a mammy and daddy to our son, it’s so hard to grieve whilst trying to be a new mother to a baby, I just feel like no one understands how I feel, no one can make the pain go away, so just feel so isolated and lonely.

Hi im very sorry for your loss (i hope you dont mind but ive pmed Priscilla community manager re you) She can definitely help i can empathise with you .But i dont understand because my loss is completely different to yours Friendship hug Colin (57)

Hi Deone, I’m part of the community team here – I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your boyfriend. He clearly meant the world to you and this must be a massive shock as it all happened so suddenly. You don’t have to put on a brave face here. It’s understandable that you’re finding it difficult to be strong considering what has happened, and the added responsibility of being a new mum must make things really tough. Please keep talking to us here if it helps, you’re not alone and we’re here to support you.


Hi Deone,

I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your boyfriend so shortly after your son was born. I wanted to introduce you to another user here on the site who has recently lost her fiance while pregnant with their child: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/heartbroken-and-pregnant

I thought the two of you might find it helpful to chat, so please feel free to reply to her on that link.

It sounds as though you have had to put all your time and energy into parenting your son and haven’t really had a chance to grieve. Have you had any counselling or bereavement support? It sounds as though this is something you might benefit from.

You could speak to your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or support services in your area.

Cruse Bereavement offer support one-to-one, through local groups or on their helpline: 0808 808 1677 or helpline@cruse.org.uk

The charity RoadPeace also offers support to people bereaved by a road crash.

Hi Deone,

I just thought of one more suggestion for you - have you heard of Gingerbread? They support single parents, including those that have been bereaved. They have an online forum and offline support groups. Find out more here: https://gingerbread.org.uk/content/433/Community

Thank you for your support sometimes you just need to talk to someone that’s not a family member or friend, everyone’s been great but nothing they say or do takes the pain away. I explained everything to my GP they put me on tablets that did nothing and said I had to be put on a waiting list to see a councillor there was a 8 week waiting list, so I didn’t bother getting back in touch, I didn’t really want to go in the first place it’s just because my family were comcerned that I wasn’t talking to anyone about it.