Losing wife

Hi I lost my darling Frances on 30 may I. Held her. Hands as she passed away and although she was robbed of speech she managed a croacky love.
I am absolute shattered we were married 55years less 13 days s
Frances was my whole life and I don’t know if I can carry on I want to be with her I cannot stop crying. We have two children both in there fifties and even now I am trying to protecte them as they lost their mum.
Any advise please the pain is unbearable.
At the moment I cannot cope

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Hello @Carl2242,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your wife. Many of our members have experienced the loss of their partner and can understand what you are going through.

You mention that you’re struggling to cope. Your loss is so very recent and you may be experiencing symptoms of grief. It is natural to want to protect your children, but it’s also really important that you get help and support if you are feeling that the pain is unbearable. You might want to make an appointment with your GP to talk about things which might help you right now.

You may also find the following Sue Ryder resources helpful:

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Carl so sorry for your loss. My wife passed away on April 29th, we were married for 26 years and she was my life. I have struggled since but I believe that Carole would want me to carry on, I need to believe this.
I hope at some stage I can look back and smile at the beautiful memories I have of her, I hope you can do the same with Frances.
Have you tried any counselling, just to be able to say to someone how you feel might help in some small way, it helped me think a little clearer.
I have also been to a medium and a hypnotist because as with you the pain and heartache is unbearable, I just needed to try and find some release from all my emotions. I think each have helped to some degree. This board is also a place you can express yourself openly because unfortunately we are all suffering this horrific pain but we can also help each other.
Hope at some point in your life you can be at peace and smile with thoughts of your Frances.
Sending love
Joe x

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There WILL be a point in your life you do find peace & learn to smile again - -
just not at the moment as everything is too raw.
I’m sure your adult children will support you if you open up to them - - our children are younger than yours but I am so proud. (Their dad would have been too) when they stepped up to arrange things, made calls did what was needed.

One day at a time -
G. X

Carl I promise you this will ease, day by day it eases .

The absolute love of my life and soulmate died 30/5 and already small wins for me are I don’t sob most of the day now .

Losing your love is the worst grief a person will EVER feel and you will think this despair will be around forever but don’t let it ok, my Mandy wanted me to live and love again, she told me 4 months before she died what she wanted for me .

The hurt is incredible, the love will never end but embrace the good times , cry and know that over time you will have a life , not one you chose but go make it a one where your wife would smile , I’m going to.

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Thanks for everyone’s reply. I am glad to read the messages. My love for Frances seems to have broken my heart into a million pieces I am very scared of living without her guidance and love, I miss her touch and helping her through the day. It seems so in fair.

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The love of my life pass away at the end may. I went down the town yesterday on my own but found it hard. I broke down in the bank so came home. The tears are drying up but feel guilty that they are , that I am forgetting my love. I also feel guilty that I have been talking to one of her girl friends online she has been a comfort to me as she knew my love from teenagers. That I am talking to another woman makes me feel very embarrassed that I am disrespectful to my Frances memory

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