Hello my name is jack I am 24 and my mum passed away 6months ago and she was 44 she died of breast cancer and I am struggling to cope where I cannot sleep anymore and end up falling asleep in the day I seem that I cannot process it properly at all at the moment all I do is talk about her and have nightmares I feel like I am mentally exhausted and I can’t function
My step dad who she was married to got with someone quite early and I am struggling with that situation I have so much pressure on me because I think he has attached to me because I have my mums personality and everything and I’m burning myself out I don’t wanna say anything because I don’t want him to feel away I don’t know what to do anymore honestly. I have had thoughts that I wanna be with my mum but obviously I would not do anything stupid I’m just struggling hard at the moment and I just don’t know how to do anything.
I couldn’t hug her until she passed away because the cancer spreaded throughout her body and I could not talk to her because they put her to sleep at home so she would go peacefully just so much has happened and I just don’t know honestly I don’t
that is hard to be so young losing a loving mother. have you thought of seeing a counselor? someone helping young people like yourself. any sort of grief support might help you as expressing ourselves to strangers can often be cathartic and easier, not so weighty.
it is good you care about your step-dad and his feelings. it is not uncommon for men to take another female companion. it is what they sometimes do so do not take it personally. it is more a thing that happens.
try to be at ease with him. it is a safe choice not to hurt that relationship but rather focus on your own healing. that is why counselors are safe places to express all of these heavy issues. once unloaded, makes the day easier to take on.
wish you the best and meet these tough times with as much grace as you can muster.
Jack, please do not deal with this all by yourself. You are clearly a very caring person who is hurting very deeply.
Please ring Cruse bereavement, or any of the online bereavement helplines available. Every single person I have spoken to on these helplines is absolutely lovely and completely understands. The Good Grief Trust website also has many helpful links for online and in person help, for you to look at in your own time.
Be kind and gentle to yourself. It is very early days. Keep posting. Or writing. I found it cathartic to write everything out into many pages, as if I were writing for a piece to be published, explaining the before, during, and aftermath. No one has to know or see the things you write. As long as you “get it out” otherwise emotions build up like dam that will break at the most random time.
Sending hugs x
