With utter sadness i said goodbye to my mum yesterday. She had late stages of altzheimers and then after finding a tunour behind her ear whilst washing her hair, diagnosed with stage 4 oesophigeal cancer. She declined rapidly having been given a prognosis of 3 months to live.
I have been visiting her weekly and called by yesterday to find her in distress in bed. Finally mcmillian nurses came and sedated her. I lay beside her as i was aware she only had hours to live. I was with her when she took her last breath but since then i cant seem to erase those moments and instead of thinking of all the great times we had, can only rewind those last moments over and over again. Ive cried no stop today. Is this a normal reaction when you witness someone die?
1 Like
Hi moragpetrie1969,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
Hi, I am sorry about the loss of your mum. My mum died just over a year ago, I think it is all so raw for you, just yesterday. It could take longer to be able to remember the happy times. You are now in shock and raw grief and I think any feelings are normal right now. Xxxxxx
I lost my mum 7 weeks ago. We were so close. Lived with her all my life, over 50 years. It’s tough, but just be strong, for her. Take it slow. Let the tears come. It’s just natural and still raw for me. x
So very sorry for your loss and I think it’s very normal to process last moments it’s traumatic to witness the death of a loved one. It’s a no win situation, if you wasn’t there it would be overwhelming guilt. I hope in time you take solace that you was there for your beloved mum in her final moments 
Am so sorry for the loss of your mum. My mum passed away 2 years ago , and i still find it really hard without her.
I too was with my mum as she took her last breath, have never felt pain like it. I too even now still relive that moment asif it was yesterday.
You are very brave, being able to find the strength to share all this so soon.
Its totally normally to cry, i still cry sometimes.
The one thing i,ve learnt over the last too years is that theres still going to be days when i cry, when i still feel overwhelmed with it all.
The best advice a friend gave me is don’t ever feel guilty to cry, to no be so hard on myself.
Theres no time limit on grief.
Am always hear if you feel like talking x
1 Like
Thank you for your kind words jasmine105
It’s a month now since she passed away and now feel the sadness, now the shock of it has gone. I even dreamed about her last night having been really upset the previous day. Perhaps that’s a way of processing it all.
My thoughts are with you too. And yes, I’ve been told by others that grief comes in waves. I had a wave today. Hopefully, good memories will come to mind as time goes on.
1 Like