Coming up to 2 years without my hubby my soul mate my best freind my everything,I miss him like crazy,feeling so low again,its never getting any better,in fact its worse,Im not feeling very good either,nor look good,ive got mennieres and my heads like a dizzy sickly mess,feel alone and forgotten,wide awake at all times thinking how happy we were then all stopped after 32 years of been together,I just stay in most of the time,just bought a new sofa and chair brightened things up around me,trying to take my mind off and keeping busy but cant get mind off him all the time,blamed myself for n9t being able to stop the end of life happening I sat with him,whilst the morphine took him away I couldn’t do anything.ive never been the same person since that day,dont sleep good,or eat good,dont think this is life its just paying bills and nothing look forward to putting on plastic smiles and false chatter,last year I took 7 days out on my own on a little break doing what we loved to do sitting by a lake fishing,now anotheryear to face.i can relate to all your commenting on losing a partner,and im so sorry we have to struggle through getting on with it,but not getting over it.
Hi its 3 years in april since I lost my partner and yes I feel much the same the lonliness is the thing that I carnt get used to its hard having to do things on your own .my family live abroad so it’s even worse at least if you see your family its a bit easier .Its important to try to get out with friends sometimes though and I have to go out shopping .I stayed in a lot like you but I went to the doctors for help .And I was suffering with depression so am now on anti depressants which are helping .This website is so supportive to so please keep posting.I hope you have some support around you and ive had bereavement councilling too its all helped xx
Thaankyou family are miles away,just don’t want go out socially no need im not good company,my shopping mostly comes to me,im just on a right downer,and I tried counciling at home and its not for me doing coffee outings and such,I guess the barrier is up ,thanks and I feel for you
Well 24324 I think you really need some help. You can’t just survive, there are bereavement groups in most places and you really need to look after yourself. I think it is good to force yourself to do something small everyday that is uncomfortable but doable and build on that. It’s important to get out of the house and at least walk if nothing else. It’s also good to look for small things to appreciate and recognise as beautiful. Like a tree in blossom or a dawn sky. Small things to improve your mood. Even forcing a smile when you wake up changes your mind and can relax you. All these things may sound stupid but they work if used. Our situation will not change in one two or ten years the only way is for us to change and live life for our partners who can’t. If they are watching we don’t want them to see us crumbling. I really think the first thing would be to join a group. Sorry for repeating myself but I really hope for the best for you
Tom
Thanks Tom,everything you say i know is right,but join a group i can’t do that,I got this one i listen,i try,I do venture out now and again,not big shops,I have taken a break,last year in a forest by a fishing lake to think ,I was joined by my sister ,i was ok returned ome,back to my depressed self,so later I went back to think on my own,it was relaxing,only fishermen in the distance and lodges,home again and back to usual,a little Robin joined me everyday in the afternoon,
That was worth a smile,i tried but it i still end up in the same frame of mind,I speak to neighbours and chat normal but its all a show they all knew my husband ,he was a lovely man,and I miss him 
Hi, on Sunday it’ll be my 40th wedding anniversary and I’ve been preparing my garden to make it pretty for my lovely wife. I’ll be on my own as always but I’m sure she will be smiling at my effort.
Wishing you all the best for today.
Hi I think you probably have depression .I know you said you don’t want to go out socially but the times I’ve pushed myself to meet up for a coffee or meal it certainly makes me feel so much better Do you have any friends near by ?.My friends have their own lifes of course but please try .Also you sound a confident person to go away for 7 days thats good I don’t have the guts to do anything on my own so it’s so hard xx
Its beautiful,am sorry about your wife,its so sad we had to lose them,flowers love sunshine and rain to grow your wife will be watching them grow and looking with you,I wish you all the best aswell,
Hi Brandon just read your posts, its just coming up to 2 years for me after 50 + years and i just wanted to say your advice to 24324 is spot on, it is something that you have to learn over time, there is no choice and that is the hard part to accept, it is difficult but you have to do it.
I think that you and I see things along the similar lines, I am on my own but mostly that is my decision, I too work on our garden and yes it is for my wife not sure I always get it right but I am sure I would be told so!
I don’t know if you have seen the 2 books by Tom Zuba, no1 is “Permission to mourn, A new way to do grief” the other is a follow up “ Becoming radiant, a new way to do life”
I bought them early on and dismissed them, you have to be ready for them and I picked them up again a few months ago and now, when I need to, they are my go to books, he also has a Facebook page, like all these things, its not for everyone but I mention these because I feel you are similar in your views as mine so I hope they are of interest.
I hope everyone has a better day than yesterday.
Hi swift
I’ll certainly be having a look at the books you mention. Many thanks and best wishes for your day
Tom
I find a local bereavement group helpful as encourage each other to keep going I talk to my husband during the day saying what we are doing
Keep plodding on
I used this forum and found it very supportive and yes I also talk to my wife I think most of us do even if not out loud, now into my 3rd year of plodding on, some people get through the plodding stage very quickly , some of us don’t we are all very different and I now know that the plodding will be as long as it is.