Been today to try and.sort things.out with my brother but he just.says it’s.me he admits.he did say something off thee cuff as.he calls it to.me last November but what he said hurt me I had a awful trip up from Leeds to lockerbie with him.snapping at.me all the way and it carried on the whole day till I could take no more so I left my stepmums and booked a hotel I cannot.take.him when he is in that mood we have been out and I bought him a costa coffee and a bakewell tart and he did nothing but moan about.it coffee not hot.enough and if he.new they did toasted teacakes.he would have had one of them , then after trying to get a suitcase he finally gave up and asked me to drop him at the pub and when he got out of the car he said right fresh start forget about it I have said yes to forget as I will never win he will never change I could do with someone to talk to now I don’t care who.a total stranger would at the moment in time sat In my car on a road where I.dont.live and I am.in tears again why do I let people do this to.me I was going to get myself a carvery but it’s closed for refurb just my luck nothing going my way today what’s the point of even trying
All families have their oddities. I haven’t spoken to my brother for 10 years. He found mom’s dementia difficult so stopped visiting. Then both of my sisters decided they couldn’t do it again when dad developed Alzheimer’s so it was down to me. One sister I now see but the other hasn’t been in touch since Stephen died except for a short text message.
I think we have to accept people for who they are. Just because they are family we don’t have to like them.
Wish I could forget but I am the sensitive one and he forgets i have lost Paul he just thinks you should be better now but how.do.i.get better it’s.not a.illness it’s a loss and a loss that I can never replace I am.tired of his attitude but when he needs me he will ring me as he know I am to soft and give in I would love to get the takeaway but it’s.closed and bieng a ceoliac I find it very difficult just feeling crap and at the moment the way I feel I would stick.my head in the oven only it’s electric just as well
I have 2 brothers and a sister who didn’t care when my husband was dying. Sometimes you need to cut toxic people out of your life even if they are family. Xx
I am so fed up now and so down that.i just want it all to go.away I would love to get in my car.and just drive and never come back that is how I feel I need to do something and just dissappear nobody would even miss me I know that
You need to take a few days for yourself. Lie in bed, go for that carvery, watch a film. Something that will shut off everyone else for a while. So that your stress can reduce and your mind can stop racing. You are in a fight or flight mode. You don’t have to let people use you as a punchbag with there problems. You have your own to deal with and should be getting support off them too. Family isn’t always like that as I know. Please do one thing today that you can enjoy xx
I have tried with this brother but he just wants to.forget the.way he spoke to.me he says it over with and I said something off the cuff remark to me so.now I know it’s never going to change it will always be the.same , saying that I have been out tonight with my other brother his wife and my nephews and one wife and great nieces it was absolutely lovely we went out for a meal and it was great with them it was one fo them who was 40th today my youngest nephew we had a lovely meal and then back to his for coffee or tea it was great to see my great nieces they are all beautiful kids the youngest is 5 and she just chats.away to.me as if she saw me everyday which she does not and that is what I miss kids around me I loved it when my nephews where always with me but they are all grown up now on with his.own family wish I saw more.of them but now I am.back home.and it’s the.quiteness that.gets to.me I wish it.did not but I cannot.help that can I
Hi my lovely, you need to keep that brother at arms length. He reminds me of one of my brothers. He’s an alcoholic and blames everyone else for his problems and doesn’t take responsibility for himself.
You have had a lovely evening with your other brother and family and that is lovely .
I know its hard going home to an empty house but I hope you feel that it is your safe place. Sending a big heartfelt hug my friendxxx
I never thought I could miss someone as much.as.i miss Paul i never even new it was going to hurt this.much nor did I think it would go on as long as it.has but how wrong I was I know we are all different as to.how.we cope.and how we get over it if we ever get over it I know how.much I.miss him when I turn over in the.night and he is.not.on ther other side to snuggle up to that is one thing I.cannot.get.over my nephews gave me a hug.tonight and the one who’s birthday it is realised that is what I need the most and how I dont want to.let go.its.so.silly
Hi Sarah, none of it is silly. Please dont ever think that. A hug means so much and most people don’t realise that. Human connection is what keeps us going. My husband had to sleep downstairs in a hospital bed. I used to sleep on the sofa so I got used to sleeping on my own for a year before he died. We wanted to get him well enough to get back upstairs but he wasn’t able to. I used to sit next to him on the bed, this is upsetting me now. I need to go. Sending much love to you. Take care xx
I wish I had the answers then I would not feel like this i miss him everyday I miss my cuddles if I was upset he was there to cuddle me and tell me it was going to be OK now he has gone there is no one to cuddle me and that’s what hurts the physical side of it all gone how are we meant to cope with that I really dont know the answer to that one it’s been 5yrs since I was able to have the cuddle or even turn over in bed and know they are there and if he got out off bed I would turn over and snuggle into his side where it was nice and warm I miss all of that it really hurts ,last night when I was out with my brother and his family for my nephews 40th birthday I loved it I had people to talk to and my nephews who gave me hugs and the one who’s birthday it was realised it was the hugs that I miss the most he told me so he hugged me so tight I did not want to let go but I had to I am going to try and see him more often I absolutely hate this loniness and they empty way I feel now you know what none of us asked for this we just got it and it not fair
Never apologise for it upsetting you as every bit of it upsets me so I know how you feel for the last two years of Paul’s life we had to sleep in separate rooms when the hospital told us he needed a hospital bed and we could no longer sleep together we both broke down and cried we had never slept separately at all and now we had to at first we just ignored it thinking they had got it wrong but then they told me I had to clear a room for him I was distraught at this but I did it and that was how it was for us sleeping separately and carers in everyday not what we wanted in our lives but I still got my cuddles off him as when he was in the living room I could sit beside his chair and he would give the best cuddles I need that now and find it so hard not having him here ,I was out last night for a meal with my brothers family it was one of my nephews 40th birthday that makes feel really old now and my nephew realised that is what I miss the most he kept on giving me a cuddle and he also said to me you miss this dont you and I said oh god yes I do I did not want to go home I wanted to stay there and cuddle him all night but I did come home and then it was the empty house I came in and cried I had accidentally called my friend in my car and he was annoyed with me I had to pull over and stop it and then I sent him a message apologising I then sent another friend a message and went to bed I have got up this morning to two messages on my phone from them and I cannot even open them as I know they are annoyed with me I feel like turning my phone off and never switching it on ever again that’s how my lovely night ended so horrible I now I do not know what to do that’s me my happiness of last night shattered
I lost my partner 7 weeks ago, I miss cuddles, hugs, general physical touch. He would always make everything feel better for me. Now I have no one, how do we get past that ? I really don’t know that. Friends and family don’t really understand that at all. I get so upset seeing couples now, I really can’t cope with it at all. Am thinking of you. Stay strong
? I really don’t know that. Friends and family don’t really understand that at all. I get so upset seeing couples now, I really can’t cope with it at all. Am thinking of you. Stay strong